Forward With Grace and Gratitude
By Marilyn M. Estes
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
My Story
I thought I was close to God. But when I received the diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma in my left breast, fear gripped me like a vice. Deep down I always thought it could never happen to me. I was healthy and I did everything right like my doctor recommended. My fiftieth birthday was just four days away, and I asked “why me?”
But then my new neighbor and dear friend, Jan De Chambrier, started praying with us for healing. She helped change my vocabulary. That’s when I realized this would help me overcome all my fears, or perhaps I may help someone else overcome their fears and be a blessing to them.
I haven’t always been that courageous, but relying on God and praying made me feel better about moving forward, trying to make the right decisions, and facing the obstacles I had to go through to beat this disease. My faith grew stronger day by day and so did I by giving it to God and praying earnestly and fervently. I trusted in God that everything would be all right. I reminded myself I am healed by the stripes of Jesus.
Besides faith I also had to use the word believe in my journey. Belief leads to hope, and to Jesus. Believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Believe in yourself and believe in miracles and a cure. So what I learned is to believe, have faith, and move forward with grace from God while never giving up! Praise be to God, I am now a three-year breast cancer survivor.
How I Got Through It
The love shown to me by my family and friends, and my faith in God helped me cope and get through this journey. In my journal at the bottom of each page I wrote the words “forward,“ and “I am healed by the stripes of Jesus.” I prayed fervently and earnestly for this reality. Knowing family and friends were praying for me also helped. I believe prayer works miracles.
I am thankful for so many people who stood by my side and supported, loved, prayed, encouraged and blessed me on this journey. On the night of my surgery, my husband, Todd, and our two grown children, Brandon and BreAunna, slept by me on the couch. They were there for me every step of the way. Their time away from work to be with me meant so much. They showered me with laughter, encouraging words, and unconditional love. Besides Jesus, my husband is my rock and strength. He carried me through this from the day one was diagnosed, and continues to support me today. He sacrifices his time away from work to attend doctor’s appointments, or do anything for me to make me feel comfortable, happy, loved and cared for. I am also grateful to all my relatives and friends, who stood beside me at surgeries, prayed, cooked, and sent me flowers, gifts, and encouraging words via email, text, calls, and cards. It is love and faith that got me through this journey and gave me hope. I am ever so grateful to everyone who walked beside me!
Prayer and perseverance helped me through this journey. I have learned and gained so much from this experience, and I look at the world much differently now. I have embraced along my journey the following sayings: a) don’t sweat the small stuff, b) take time for the little things, c) celebrate life every day to the fullest, and d) never lose hope. My spiritual vocabulary expanded, and the new words I used in my journey—trust, believe, faith, hope, love and God—helped me overcome my fears and face anything and everything with courage. God is faithful. I thought I was close to God before, but now I fully trust in Him!
Action Items
Read the following quotes in addition to the quote at the beginning of this story, and choose one that resonates with you. Reflect on your thoughts in the Comment section that follows.
- “This will be conquered with your strength through Him, let us rejoice. Amen!” (a friend).
- “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand” (Isaiah 41:10, ESV).
- “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible” (Christopher Reeves).