Act As If
Anonymous
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” ~Mark 11:24
My Story
From the time I can remember, “acting as if your prayers had already been answered” was my mantra. Since childhood, visualizing a positive outcome and working toward it was my goal. Once I set my mind in that direction, the fear always dissolved because God was in the plan and I believed.
For over a year, I kept feeling a lump in my left breast and went through two mammograms and other testing. Finally, a year and another mammogram later showed the lump I kept feeling. I was referred to a surgical oncologist at another health institution and they performed a biopsy in the morning on Ash Wednesday 2004.
Early in the morning before my biopsy appointment, I went to Ash Wednesday service. When I arrived with a friend in the medical center, a man quickly jumped in the parking lot elevator with us and saw the ashes formed in the sign of the cross on my forehead. He said he was a deacon and had not gone to service and wanted some of my ashes. The deacon reached up and took some and made the sign of the cross on his forehead. He then blessed me. At another elevator, we ran into an old missionary priest from Central America. He also wanted to take the ashes from my forehead and make the sign of the cross on himself. He blessed me too! I felt God’s presence in my journey and knew at that moment I was going to get through this.
That biopsy resulted in me hearing the dreaded words, “breast cancer.” Later in the day, the center diamond fell out of my wedding ring. It didn’t seem to have the same significance as hearing “breast cancer.” I could live without the diamond, but my left breast? I remember driving after having picked up a friend’s son from work when the phone call came. I was so stunned and the young man knew something was wrong. He was so positive and sweet to me when I told him of my news. That young man has since passed away, and it is to this day one of my best memories. It was a special moment we shared full of love and compassion. God was in the midst. I made up my mind—I would educate myself on breast cancer and do what had to be done with a spirit of gratitude and love (with much humor mixed in.)
My first decision was to contact MD Anderson for a second opinion, and a few months later, they performed a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy and removal of three lymph nodes on my left side. The result: invasive ductal carcinoma, stage IIa. Weeks later, I was told cancer cells were found in one of the three lymph nodes. This news dramatically changed my treatment plan. Instead of just radiation I was now going to suffer the dreaded chemotherapy.
How I Got Through It
The next course of treatment was radiation. I was somewhat afraid, but my doctor quickly put me to ease. God had sent me to the very person I needed and it was another sign He was in the midst. On the first day, I walked out of radiation and stopped where the two hallways intersect. It was the sound of perfect acoustics in the dome of that intersection. I walked under it and began to sing. Some of the staff poked their heads out of doorways and listened with a smile on their face. Five days a week I sang under that dome and recruited others to enjoy it with me. I sang through the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons and praised God with every note, knowing my prayers would be answered. The last day of radiation, I had my family and friends gathered for the ringing of the bell. Before we left, I took them to the dome and sang one last song, “You’ve Got a Friend.” God was in the midst.
In 2013 I was given a second diagnosis with metastatic breast cancer stage IV. God is still in the midst and I continue to act as if my prayers have already been answered.
Action Items
“Act as if your prayers have already been answered.” I walked through the halls of the cancer center with a smile on my face and my husband in tow. I encourage you to do the same. There are so many stories of joy and laughter I could tell you, but suffice it to say we all laughed and cried. My prayers were answered because I did not have all the side effects of the chemotherapy treatments. Sitting in the waiting room, other patients would ask me whom I was there to support. I felt bad to tell them I was the patient. It was a matter of acting as if my prayers were already answered. It was just doing what had to be done but knowing the results would be alright because God was in the midst. Make a comment and tell us your thoughts.