Life is Like Jazz
Sara Rogers
My Story
I was with my mom when the doctor told her she had Stage II breast cancer in her right breast. My first reaction was disbelief, then denial, and finally acceptance. “It’s nothing; we can get through this.” I am the eldest and my mother is a single parent. Therefore, I had to grow up pretty fast in my younger years. I helped raised my sister and my brother, so naturally, I felt I was responsible for taking my mother to her treatments while I was working and supporting my own family. I am not a very emotional person (especially showing it) so I was very stoic throughout this whole procedure. But maybe it was because I did not want to show my mother what I was feeling. She needed someone to be strong for her, and I felt like I needed to be that person. While family and friends seemed stunned by the diagnosis, they supplied much needed mental and physical support.
I remember a point in time when this whole “journey” hit me. That was the day when my mother shaved her head and my brother shaved his in support of our mother. It was surreal. I remember thinking while taking their picture (bald heads gleaming!): “oh, this stuff is for real. “ I do have to say I am very proud of my mother for staying positive throughout this ordeal. From the beginning, we were confident she would beat cancer. We thanked God every day for His strength, which helped her, and us, get through it.
How I Got Through It
It was the strength and patience God gave me that prevented me from becoming deranged through this process. I prayed every day for help to get through this. I not only had the responsibilities associated with my mother’s treatment, but I faced personal setbacks that only added to my stress. My biggest supporter during these challenges was, and still is, my husband. He is my rock. There were times when I felt overwhelmed by all these responsibilities and stress. But my husband was always there, telling me that everything was fine, and we would get through it. And so we did. My main objective was to be strong and levelheaded for my mother.
Again, I am not a very emotional person, and rarely talk about my feelings. However, this experience was an eye opener. My favorite quote has a true meaning for me as a result of this journey. It is from one of my favorite composers George Gershwin, “Life is a lot like jazz…it’s best when you improvise.” To me this means we should not take anything for granted in life. Each day, whatever happens you run with it and make it count for what it is worth.
Action Items
For any family member going through this, my advice is to stay positive throughout the whole thing and be there for your loved one. Don’t make it about you. You are their support and strength. When you feel you have been thrown a curveball, improvise! As a caregiver, consider how you might exude positive support for your loved one.
Leave a comment and share your ideas for positive means of support.