Last Flight for Chemo

It’s not my last treatment, as I am a lifer, but it is the last time I will need to fly home from Vero Beach for my triweekly infusions. Tomorrow is our last service. Then Monday we will say good-bye to the staff. Or, as one parishioner so aptly put it while quoting Tigger, “It’s not good-bye. It’s TTFN.” I loved living in Vero Beach, and I imagine we will be coming back for visits from time to time. Good memories here.

The flight home was … interesting. It was a full flight with more wheelchairs than the norm, so boarding took some time. The incoming flight was delayed as well, so we had to clear a path for those deplaning. Orlando flights are always filled with children, some of them happy and some in need of a nap, so you never know who will be sitting beside you. I did get the extra legroom thanks to my Premier status, and I always hope for someone small. A child is not so bad, and we typically get along.

I was on the aisle, and in the middle seat next to me was not a child but a large gentleman who would, from time to time, break into a violent cough. He ordered a Bloody Mary for himself and his female companion in the window seat beside him. He downed the first one, ordered another, and fell asleep before drinking it. The full cup sat on his tray, with his hands snuggled beneath the tray, head slumping further and further forward as the flight continued. At one point the cough startled him and woke him up. His reflexive hands sprang upward, stopped short by the tray, and resulted in a Bloody Mary tray. How it stayed upright I have no idea, except for the grace of God, as it only spilled onto the tray and managed to keep the rest inside the glass. I don’t even know what goes into a Bloody Mary, but I was glad it didn’t take flight and make its landing on me as I envisioned the red stains would be difficult to remove. I sat with my hand over my mouth for most of the flight.

Tim, on the other hand, rode the motorcycle home. It took him two days, in the rain and cold weather. On the first day he rode over 700 miles, which he could not have done with me on the back. I wimped out, as he would say, and decided to fly home. The beginning of the trip looked promising, but the thunderstorm he rode through was reminiscent of some scary rides, so while I would have preferred him as a riding companion, I was glad I didn’t have to bear the storms.

Happy Birthday!

Thursday evening we went to dinner with two of our little JEDIs. Alison is turning FIVE on Tuesday, and we will not be home for her birthday, so we celebrated with dinner, a gift and some fun. All we were missing was a cupcake, so she made one with her play-dough and we sang happy birthday with her imaginary candle. What a great kid! I can’t believe our oldest granddaughter will be five years old. Time flies before your eyes.

Treatment yesterday went pretty smoothly. I was originally scheduled for the afternoon, but I had called and rescheduled to the morning so I could come to Dallas with Tim (he led a church Vision conference). And boy am I glad I did! A water main broke in downtown Houston, flooding 610, as you’ve probably heard. This resulted in at least two of MD Anderson campuses closing. They diverted many of their nurses and patients to The Woodlands where I go for treatment. They were starting to trickle in as I was waiting for lab techs. Who knows how long I would have waited if I didn’t reschedule to the morning? Whew! Crisis averted. My nurse was aware of our tight schedule, so she got me out in plenty of time to go with Tim to Dallas where we spent last night. He started the conference in the evening, and he is finishing up as I am writing this blog.

Last night was an interesting experience. We don’t see this very often. I was awakened at 3:38 AM to the sound of people talking. At first I thought it was a television set, and then I realized a couple was arguing in the room next to us, or in the hallway. I wasn’t for sure. He was cursing at her and calling her names for not letting him see his kid. This went on for a while so I called the front desk, who subsequently called the police. It did calm down, but I lost more than hour of sleep. They gave us our money back for the room, with several apologies. I was not the only one who had complained.

I woke up early and came to the airport, after dropping off Tim, saying hello to the church folks, and returning the rental car. I was on a much earlier flight than him to Houston (the same flight to Orlando), but the water main break resulted in my favor. I asked them in the United Club if I could get on Tim’s later flight. Because of the water issue, she moved me to his flight and didn’t charge the change fee. This made it worth my while to use my United Club pass, where I am enjoying free tea, soft drinks and snacks all day, in addition to breakfast and lunch.

It’s been a crazy busy few days, but one thing I know for sure is this…Christ came to this earth that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. We are living life daily and enjoying each step of the way. I don’t want people to see me. I want them to see Christ in me. It is His strength you see, not mine. It is His peace I feel. Without Him I would not feel very peaceful at times. It is His healing that touches my body. He is keeping me alive for a reason. No matter what your circumstance in life, give Him the glory. As we focus on Him we are at peace with all things…family, health, work, and ministry. God has it all in control.

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Sleeeeeepy

“Dear Sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.”

–unknown

I woke up at 3:15 AM to the sound of my husband’s lovely dreaming. After tossing and turning for an hour I decided it was better to get up and work than to lay there sleepless. 😴 💤 😑

Now I’m paying for it, of course… It’s been 12 hours almost to the minute since I first woke up. 😳

Technically, I’m not working. I’ve been helping out at the church, typing Employee Handbook and other documents for review. It’s been great to do ministry without the stress of actually working. I can say yes, or I can say no. I can do a little work or I can go to the beach and put my feet in the water. I can sit at Panera without the stress of meetings with learners or faculty at work. It has been so nice not having to work with all my scans, treatments, doctors visits, and wonderful travel to get there.

I’m not sure what will happen at the end of the term. Will I go back, or will I stay off…? “Early retirement” sure sounds good right now. 😊

We have a few weeks to decide whether I can handle it. 🥱 Now pardon me while I go take a nap…

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Sharing My Journey

When I was asked to share my breast cancer journey in the chapel at the church where my hubby was serving as interim pastor, of course I said yes! The date was set. We promoted it for a few weeks and I was really looking forward to sharing. But I got sick in the middle of the night…the not-so-good (is there any “good”?) kind of sickness. 🤢 🤮 💩 Whatever I ate the night before came out with a vengeance. I was in no shape to go to church or share my story. It was all I could do to climb out of bed and make it to the porcelain bowl. My sweet husband stepped in and shared his perspective. He’s been so busy, but he did that for me. I’m sure his side of the story was entertaining as well, but I knew I would need to set the record straight and correct some of his antics 😂.

So, a few weeks later, we tried again. This time I was not sick. I was actually feeling really good. I was fully prepared, and I even figured out the Apple TV so I could share some “never-before-seen” pictures of my cancer journey. I showed them my 2013 smiling face just before surgery, and the portrait of me with the “crown” screwed onto my head from the Gamma Knife a little more than a year ago. I was smiling in that one as well, but right after my doctor took it and showed me the picture, I broke into tears. Reality bites…

That’s how it is on this journey. It’s not a straight, uphill or downhill ride. It’s a supersonic roller coaster with surprise twists, sharp turns, sudden drops, and steep inclines. Sometimes it makes you want to scream, and other times you can’t help but laugh. It can be gut-wrenching and emotionally draining, while at the same time we often forget we are living with a serious illness. We just go on living.

I sometimes wonder how long the ride will last, but then that moment passes and life goes on.

We had a great turnout. The chapel was full…standing room only. I shared my journey, explained a few things about breast cancer and different types, provided some tips for caregivers, and most of all gave God the glory for my currently stable body. It was a great day. (My only regret is that I did not get a picture to remember the day. Hard to believe, I know! I did not take a picture.) 😃 😂

That is but a small and insignificant consequence of being fully on and fully present. Living life abundantly means glorifying God with my life, living each day to the fullest, engaging with people, and being mindful of how my life may impact those around me. I have since had several people come up to me and share how much they learned that they didn’t already know, how it helped them, and how it will help them to help others. Women have asked me questions which helps them to make better choices about their own health. A few people bought books, and others are probably reading this blog as soon as I hit the “Publish” button. I feel like this speaking gig was a success on many levels, and it gives me encouragement to continue to do more. If I can help even one person by sharing my journey, it is worth it.

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Test Results – PTL (Again)

Earlier this week I flew into Texas from Florida where we are completing our short-term assignment as Interim Pastors. Since we are out of state, I have been scheduling all of my scans, doctor visits, and treatment all in the same week. I am here from Sunday to Sunday. On Monday I had a bone scan, CT scan of chest, abdomen and pelvis. Tuesday was the Echocardiogram. A couple of days at home and playing with the grandkids was a nice reprieve. Today (Friday) I saw my oncologist and got my treatment. I was in a bed-room. Yes, I had a bed. 😊 Tim joined me this afternoon as we are here to experience the launch of our newest church plant this Sunday.

As stated in a previous blog, I had an MRI of the brain the last time I was in town, which seemed to indicate a new lesion on the left frontal bone of my skull (brain was all clear). Yet, the whole body bone scan completed last Monday showed continued stability, with no new growth. And the CT scans were also normal, with no lesions or new growth. Basically, everything is still stable! For that I am grateful.

As it turns out, the MRI was completed on a new machine in The Woodlands (I have been going downtown for these). The radiologist looked at the pictures again, and he amended the report. Instead of new lesions on the frontal bone, he saw lesions on the parietal bone, which is where they have been all along. It has something to do with the slices, and how they view the pictures. My doctor is on top of it. He admits he isn’t a radiologist, but he looked at the pictures and they didn’t look any different to him. He asked for the radiologist to look again, who then amended the report. Here’s what the addendum says, in case you need some reading material to put you to sleep 😂:

The reported enhancing marrow replacing lesion within the LEFT frontal bone on further review is actually in the LEFT parietal bone and when reviewed on the 3-D T1 post contrast imaging is seen to not have changed in size compared to the October 2019 examination. The apparent increase on spin-echo T1-weighted post contrast imaging is likely due to slice selection. The lesion is is best seen on the current study coronal 3-D T1 post image 91 where it measures 17 x 6 mm. On the 3-D T1 post contrast coronal imaging from the October 2019 examination, the lesion is seen and measures 17 x 6 mm.

This is all good news! Still stable. No new metastasis. No new growth. My blood work looks normal. Echo was fine. Now we have all of my scans in The Woodlands, so they can compare from this point on.

I am in the process of moving most of my other doctors and scans to MD Anderson as well. They now do colonoscopies and endoscopies right there in The Woodlands campus. My last colonoscopy was in 2016, so it’s getting close to time for that. They also have dermatologists, and it is time for my yearly skin check. Looks like this facility is going to become my one-stop shopping for all my preventative care. 😊

Á la prochaine…until next time…