Spiritual Retreat

My husband and I recently went on a spiritual retreat, with the primary goal of letting our souls catch up to our bodies. This rat race of life, work, avoiding COVID, societal tension, all while fighting terminal cancer can move us to become very busy people. Frustrated people. Angry people. Unfocused people. Sometimes we just need to get away and retreat to gain proper perspective. Sometimes we need a mountainside where we can pray.

After he had dismissed them [the crowd],

he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.”

Matthew 14:23 (NIV)

We headed to Boulder Colorado for some inspiration (and cooler weather). Backpacks were filled with food, chairs, study materials, and of course water. Each day would bring a new adventure, and cooler temperatures than we have in Texas!

I deleted FaceBook from my phone so I was not distracted by the world. I wanted to focus on the Lord and listen to what He had for me.


We studied the books of First and Second Timothy separately and together, engaged in prayer and planning, went on hikes through the mountains and foothills, and walked through a wildlife refuge. We sat by a mountain river and studied Scripture, while enjoying the fabulous backdrop God provided. This particular hike was a bit challenging for me (four miles total), but God provided me with the strength I needed.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV)

In the wildlife refuge near Denver we witnessed bison, prairie dogs, elk, deer, coyote, and more, then sat by a lake to study. Mountain views were once again our backdrop.

The foothills blessed us with a colorful paraglider show in the sky, as well as mountains in our view. Bumblebees busily buzzed around us as we studied and had lunch beneath a shade tree. The hike up the hill was harder than it looked!

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)

We built altars to commemorate our time with the Lord.

See Joshua 22:26-27.

My eye was behind the camera at times, taking in the view through my little black box. But much of the time I just sat and took it in. Listening to nature, and listening for anything the Lord might say. Few photos remain from those moments, but the pictures are firmly planted in my mind.


Paul’s letters to Timothy are inspirational. I admit I was not initially all that excited, but it was quite a good read. I encourage you to read them and study them. These letters are a personal word of encouragement to Paul’s spiritual son. Timothy became a Christian under his ministry. He tells us Timothy’s mother and grandmother were a big part of this process. This affirms my role in the lives of my grandchildren!

Paul also wrote these letters to describe his ideas for structure in the church setting. As we reflected, we imagined he is looking back over many years of ministry. While he has started churches organically around the region, he now recognizes they need some organization if they are to grow and succeed. He gives Timothy ideas on how to structure the church for success.

Similar to Paul, we have been involved in ministry for many years. We have planted churches. We have passed on the baton to other leaders. As we delved into the letters to Timothy and reflected on its meaning for us personally, we realized we have learned much by working in churches throughout the years. God has given us much. We are grateful he has gifted us with knowledge, education, and experiences. This means we have great responsibility.

“When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.”

Luke 12:48b (NLT)

We are hopeful there are some Timothys out there who will listen to our wise counsel as we serve and coach pastors and churches. Paul also urges Timothy to stay alert in terms of doctrine, to watch out for false teachers. We felt this is particularly important during our current time as we see so much false teaching in the world. Part of our responsibility exists in truth-telling.


Second Timothy was especially endearing to me, as it was the last book Paul wrote before he was to be executed. The first letter was written from a place of house arrest, where he could have visitors and roam about freely. The second letter was written most likely from a cold and drafty dungeon, where he was in chains because of his faith. Only one person (Luke, the physician) was with him. Paul knows he is about to die.

In addition to much learned (too much to include in this blog), this study made me think about my life. Who would I would write to at the end of my life? What would I say? What would I want them to know? What would God inspire me to say to them? I found it very interesting that Paul chose to write to Timothy. Not his wife, not his children (assuming he had any), not to his physical family, but to his spiritual son and family. He was most concerned about the life of a young preacher, the advancement of God’s Kingdom, and the security of His church. Oh to be like Paul…

I long to have this kind of Kingdom mindset, so these things are always in the forefront of my thoughts. Always.

À la prochaine…until next time.

Weather: Rain or Shine

A wicked storm passed through our neighborhood last night and woke me up…twice. I vaguely recall Tim mentioning the beautiful light show, but I was too tired to open my eyes and watch. I could see it through my eyelids with each bright flash. I kept hearing it get closer and closer and closer and then BANG!

I was thankful for the rain, and the slightly cooler weather it provided. It has been HOT here in Texas. Over 100 degrees several days in a row. I was supposed to get a walk in, but that didn’t happen either. Tim had a meeting and we still have one car. We have the bikes, but rain is not their friend 😪. Our plan was for him to drop me off at a restaurant for lunch, and I would walk to my appointment from there. We changed our plans since the weather was so unpredictable. I could wait in the clinic just as easily as in the restaurant anyway.

This wasn’t meant to be a weather report. 😂 I’m sitting here at MDAnderson getting the drip. They got me in early. It is true I still have chemo whether it is raining 🌧, sunny 🌞, or otherwise. Every three weeks this thing rolls around. (Has it been 3 weeks already??? 🤔 ) Some people ask me when/if I am finished with chemo. The answer is always the same…I’m a lifer. I am on maintenance chemo until the day I die. That may sound grim, but I plan to be on chemo for a very long time!

A man just rang the bell. It is a tradition here at MD Anderson (and in many other centers as well). It means he is finished with chemo. Yay! I’m happy for him. I am reminded of the time I rang the bell when I finished radiation. It was a remarkable, emotional moment. I was allowed to have family there with me, but this gentleman had to ring it with only staff by his side due to all the COVID restrictions.

Reality is, I will never ring the bell again. And I am okay 👌 with that. I am so happy 😀 that I have treatment that is working. God is watching over my body to keep me stable. The nurses here are like family to me, and this center is like home. I walk in and things may look a little different (e.g. new PPE or longer lines), but there is something comforting about going to a center you understand, routines, and knowing there is always someone there to care for you, and care about you. They take a genuine interest. Nurses know me by name, and ask me personal things, like how is my book coming (yes, they remembered!).

AMEN!!

Just a few more minutes and I’ll be finished, so it’s time to wrap up this blog. I had an extra 15 minutes of drip today as it was time for my bag of Zometa. That’s the medicine that helps my bones 🦴 🦴 stay strong. I get it every three months. Even still, it seemed to go by pretty quickly. Spending time with you, my readers, has helped. Thank you for sharing my journey!

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Rejection

“Rejection hurts at any age,” said my wise 22-year-old daughter. We were just talking about a missed opportunity for a mutual friend.

A toddler playing with toys babbles and cries while pointing to a sibling, who won’t play with him…rejection hurts.

A child is the only one not invited to a birthday party…rejection hurts.

Middle schooler does not get picked to be on the team…rejection hurts.

A high schooler gets turned down after finally gathering the courage to invite that special someone to prom…rejection hurts.

Young adult hears “no” or “not now” when popping the proverbial question…rejection hurts.

A mom’s child is not accepted into the desired private school…rejection hurts.

Divorce papers are served…rejection hurts.

A person in the prime of life is passed over for a promotion…rejection hurts.

Man with just over a decade from retirement discovers that his age is now a factor in not getting that dream job…rejection hurts.

An older couple invites the family for a holiday, but their children have other plans…rejection hurts.

Rejection hurts at any age. It doesn’t feel good to hear the word “no.” Our human side jumps to “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not pretty enough,” or “They don’t love me,” or “_______________” (you can fill in the blank).

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced rejection in some form or another. Some have a longer lasting impression, but the hurt is hurt regardless of age or circumstance.

Jesus understood rejection. The prophet Isaiah spoke of this many years before his birth. He is familiar with the pain and suffering that rejection by another human being delivers. He was rejected to the point of being murdered. He can empathize with you when you hurt. When you are feeling rejected, go to the one who knows us best. He will never leave our side.

“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.”

Isaiah 53:3a (NIV)

Oh, sure, we may take a day or two to feel bad, and we may even bemoan the rejection and throw ourselves a self-pity party. That’s human nature. That’s normal. But…it isn’t healthy to stay there. We must pick ourselves up, go the Lord in prayer, and listen. He may have something even better in store. Remember the old saying:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

(attributed to Alexander Graham Bell, although many have been credited for this seemingly anonymous saying)

Way to go Alex! But in reality this concept appeared in the Bible way before Alexander Graham Bell, Helen Keller, or anyone else wrote it. Paul may not have used the words windows or doors, but the idea is right there in Romans. The suffering we experience from rejection can make us stronger if we look to the Holy Spirit for God’s will in our lives. Suffering (and one might say suffering from rejection) builds endurance, character, and hope… the other door.

“But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.”

Romans 5:3-5 (CEV)

Gladly suffer? Gladly? I may need to work on that.

So, yeah, rejection hurts at any age. But the pain and suffering will lead to strength as we learn how to embrace it.

Á la prochaine…until next time.