“Rejection hurts at any age,” said my wise 22-year-old daughter. We were just talking about a missed opportunity for a mutual friend.
A toddler playing with toys babbles and cries while pointing to a sibling, who won’t play with him…rejection hurts.
A child is the only one not invited to a birthday party…rejection hurts.
Middle schooler does not get picked to be on the team…rejection hurts.
A high schooler gets turned down after finally gathering the courage to invite that special someone to prom…rejection hurts.
Young adult hears “no” or “not now” when popping the proverbial question…rejection hurts.
A mom’s child is not accepted into the desired private school…rejection hurts.
Divorce papers are served…rejection hurts.
A person in the prime of life is passed over for a promotion…rejection hurts.
Man with just over a decade from retirement discovers that his age is now a factor in not getting that dream job…rejection hurts.
An older couple invites the family for a holiday, but their children have other plans…rejection hurts.
Rejection hurts at any age. It doesn’t feel good to hear the word “no.” Our human side jumps to “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not pretty enough,” or “They don’t love me,” or “_______________” (you can fill in the blank).
We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced rejection in some form or another. Some have a longer lasting impression, but the hurt is hurt regardless of age or circumstance.
Jesus understood rejection. The prophet Isaiah spoke of this many years before his birth. He is familiar with the pain and suffering that rejection by another human being delivers. He was rejected to the point of being murdered. He can empathize with you when you hurt. When you are feeling rejected, go to the one who knows us best. He will never leave our side.
“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
Isaiah 53:3a (NIV)
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.”
Oh, sure, we may take a day or two to feel bad, and we may even bemoan the rejection and throw ourselves a self-pity party. That’s human nature. That’s normal. But…it isn’t healthy to stay there. We must pick ourselves up, go the Lord in prayer, and listen. He may have something even better in store. Remember the old saying:
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
(attributed to Alexander Graham Bell, although many have been credited for this seemingly anonymous saying)
Way to go Alex! But in reality this concept appeared in the Bible way before Alexander Graham Bell, Helen Keller, or anyone else wrote it. Paul may not have used the words windows or doors, but the idea is right there in Romans. The suffering we experience from rejection can make us stronger if we look to the Holy Spirit for God’s will in our lives. Suffering (and one might say suffering from rejection) builds endurance, character, and hope… the other door.
“But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.”
Romans 5:3-5 (CEV)
Gladly suffer? Gladly? I may need to work on that.
So, yeah, rejection hurts at any age. But the pain and suffering will lead to strength as we learn how to embrace it.
Á la prochaine…until next time.