Making It Personal
Michele Ostrander
My Story
My story with breast cancer began more than nine years ago when I was hired as the Executive Director for Susan G. Komen in Houston. I was excited to lead Komen Houston because I believe access to quality healthcare is a basic human right. At that point I had no personal experience with breast cancer. Fast-forward six years and I was working at Susan G. Komen in Colorado.
One day while in Sherwin Williams picking out paint colors for my house when my mother called. From the tone of her voice I sensed she was close to tears. I steeled myself for whatever information she called to convey – I knew it wasn’t good.
“Michele,” she said, choking a bit, “I have breast cancer.” Working at Komen means I am surrounded by all things cancer. I thought I was immune to the shock of a cancer diagnosis. Was I wrong! This involved my mother and I was stunned.
I want to say I reassured my mother and supported her with all the right words, but I didn’t. After all, it was my mother and I knew what she needed to do! I told her she had to leave her current doctor, go to a surgeon who specialized in breast cancer, get a second opinion, go to a particular hospital and much more. I was planning her course of treatment before she even had a minute to process the information! What she needed from me was to listen because she was scared. She had just heard those awful words, “you have breast cancer.” What I did do right was tell her I would come home as much as possible to be with her through the treatment.
Despite six years of working in the breast cancer field, the issue now became deeply personal. It was not just strangers who I encountered at work; it was now my own mother fighting the disease. After the initial conversation, my mother and I talked a lot. She had good insurance, great doctors, and access to quality care. After two lumpectomies and radiation, she is now on hormone therapy to reduce her risk of recurrence. And I was able to keep my promise. I went home several times throughout her treatment to help after surgery and accompany her to radiation treatments.
How I Got Through It
I was thankful my mother’s cancer was detected early. (She was diligent about getting her annual mammogram.) That meant her treatment would be less invasive than if she had been diagnosed at a later stage. Because of the research I had read, I knew that a lumpectomy and radiation were as effective as a mastectomy for her type of breast cancer.
After the initial conversation with my mother, I was able to provide emotional support and share my knowledge so she could make the best decisions for treatment. I also made the trip to Houston several times during her treatment. I needed to reassure myself that she was going to be okay. (Being able to see her and talk with her face-to-face was important.)
I am now even more committed to the work we do to provide life-saving breast cancer care and to invest in breast cancer research. I am part of an organization that in some way has touched almost every advance in breast cancer treatment. That research and those advances helped save my mother’s life. I’m not sure one’s work can be much more rewarding than that!
Action Items
This first action item is for family members. When a family member or friend tells you she has been diagnosed with breast cancer or any type of cancer, listen first and allow her time to process the information before jumping into the action plans. Journal your thoughts and fears in your private journal, rather than sharing them with your friend or family member. Or leave a comment and ask other family members how they deal with it. If you have breast cancer, write about how you would like to be treated by your family members or friends.