What Can I Do to Help?

Karen D.

“I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.” ~Jeremiah 30:17

My Story

I am normally a very active person. You know, the one juggling fifteen things at a time: working full time, managing three kids in different sports, and being a pastor’s wife. Busy, busy, busy. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and time stood still. Suddenly, I was forced to hand things off to others. Forced to ask for help. Fortunately, I was surrounded by loving friends and family. The question I most heard was, “What can I do to help?” I honestly struggled at times to think of things that I couldn’t do myself since I was trying to ‘push through.’ Here are a few things that some incredible people did for me:

A friend was running to the store and asked what I needed. I humbly texted my grocery list to her and wrote her a check when she delivered my items that evening. She was beyond excited to be asked to help.
Some ladies from church came and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms of the house we were moving into before we moved. They made me sit and watch while we all laughed and chatted like schoolgirls.
The weekend after my chemotherapy treatments, ladies would bring food to my family for 3-4 days. They were conscious of what I could and could not eat during treatments, planning meals accordingly.
A friend gave me a 4-hour house cleaning maid-service that I used to clean our house after we moved out.
Friends came and packed boxes in the evenings for our move and didn’t judge me for dust and clutter.
Family members and friends took our kids for overnight stays on occasion, feeding them and taking them out for fun.
Sports parents offered rides to my sons for practices and games.
A massage therapist friend came over and gave me massages several times after my surgery to strengthen my arm and increase my range of motion. I would never have asked; she made me choose a date and time for the massages.
My in-laws washed sheets for beds and took the kids for dinner countless times.
Several friends accompanied me to chemotherapy treatments just to sit with me—and many others offered.
Countless cards were mailed, emails written and texts sent with encouragement, reminders of prayer and full of love.
Coworkers who were unsure how to help collected money for meals and medical bills and blessed us with a large check.

How I Got Through It

In addition to letting friends and family members take care of me, I read several books that helped me get through it. Dodie Osteen’s Healed of Cancer was a quick read and full of scriptures that I clung to. I read the verse from Jeremiah as a reminder of the Lord’s role in the healing process. I also received The Silver Lining by Hollye Jacobs, which provided practical information. There is a section on how to help a friend battling with cancer.

Action Items

What are some practical ways you can help someone struggling with breast cancer? There are also many ways you can help that do not require money—just your time and your care. Remember, women with breast cancer can find it difficult to ask for help, so you may have to make the first move. Make a list of things you can do to help, or identify chores you need help with if you are the patient. Leave a comment and share your ideas.