Present Peace
Bryan W.
My Story
I was 21 years old and still living in Florida when I received the news that my mother had breast cancer. My family had moved to Texas. With the diagnosis came a looming sense of doubt. A shadow of fear, not knowing whether the clock was about to tick down or the sand was about to run out. While this always seemed like an unlikely end to our story, it was still there. As the words were hitting the page I didn’t know if this would be the end of a chapter or the end of a book. With that, I had fear. I was afraid of not knowing whether my mother would see me walk down the aisle, or hold my first child. I never truly knew which way the story would end.
After a couple of months I decided there was no point in being half-way across the country, and I should be with my family. So I moved home. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be present.
I always had a hope that my God would come through, my mother would be strong, and the doctors’ hands would be true. Once I realized that all I could do is rely on that faith and hope, I knew everything else would be out of my control. And so, I thought, “Why try to control it? Why try and change what cannot be changed?”
It was an interesting journey through the whole process of healing and surgery. By the time it was all said and done, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. They could declare my mom cancer free. Seeing the smile on her face when she rang the bell (signifying treatment was finished) was one of the most rewarding times in my life. Why was it rewarding? Because in that instant I knew I would never have to worry about the future. At that moment there was no fear, no apprehension. Things could return to the way they were.
How I Got Through It
Stress is a debilitating feeling, but peace of mind brings strength. What kept me going? Not thinking about it, not worrying, or at least trying not to worry. I tried not to get depressed. Some may ask, “How did you get to the point of peace?” I just accepted that it’s out of my control.
God is in control. I can’t change anything so there’s no point worrying beyond this moment. I can pray. I can be there for her. I can be present and that brings me peace. But before I could be there for her, I realized I had to be there for myself.
Action Items
Be present for your loved one who has breast cancer. Just be there. Show up when she gets chemotherapy, or engaged in a ceremony at the end of treatment. Visit her often. Let her know you care. Just as important, be there for yourself. Be at peace with yourself and with God, however you can find yourself doing it. At the end of the day you can’t really worry because it’s out of your control. You can’t change or alter or fix it, so there’s no real point in attempting to do so. Instead, just be present, in the present. Allow God to be in control of you and your situation. Your loved one will be at peace knowing you are taken care of, and knowing that you are at peace with God. Write your thoughts about your loved one, and then put the word “peace” in the margin beside it. Feel free to share your thoughts in the Comment section below.