Three Dates for Valentine’s
Lucinda West
My Story
It all converged on Valentine’s Day—my consult with the breast surgeon, my husband’s appointment with his surgeon, and my chemotherapy. So, we jumped into our car dark and early in the morning after our daughter left for school and made a date of it. Well, three “dates” actually.
When I am going to have an unusually busy day, it is especially important to take a few minutes for quiet time first. My devotional that morning reminded me once again that the “Big C” (Christ) will conquer the “little c” (cancer). I looked forward to the day I could finally say with confidence those words from Acts 3:16 (NIV), “It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through Him that has completely healed…as you can all see.”
First Date.
The morning started with my first consultation with my breast surgeon. She started early to prepare me for the event that would take place later in the summer, providing there were no delays in chemotherapy. I liked her. She said I was thin! I wanted to give her a big hug for the compliment. I have never thought of myself as thin, especially since starting chemotherapy and putting on weight. In addition to being complimentary, she was very personable and knew her stuff. She took all the time we needed and answered all our questions. There is a downside to being thin apparently, as this meant possibly pulling tissue from my back to fill in the gap left between the incisions.
Removing and restructuring a breast is akin to building a house, or remodeling one more likely. You hire an architect, a builder, a contractor, subcontractors, etc. First you tear down the old house, graft some topsoil from other places to fill the hole on the lot, let the soil set for a while, build the foundation, choose your fixtures, select your elevation, and then finish it off with a few coats of paint. Simple? For those of you who have built a house, the answer is a resounding no.
We did have time for a quick bite at Sonic after our first date. I’m thin, I reasoned, so I enjoyed a malted milkshake.
Second Date.
Just in case it wasn’t enough that I have breast cancer with an impending surgery on my plate, my husband decided to go and get a cancer diagnosis for himself! Maybe he didn’t like me getting all the attention! We always seem to do things the hard way, but honestly we didn’t plan the schedule. His surgical consult was our second date of the day. The biopsy last week found a cancerous growth on his nose and a pre-cancerous cell on the top of his nose as well. His surgery will be out-patient, fortunately, and I will have to drive him home. He will come away with a black eye, perhaps turning heads along the way.
Date Number Three.
The third date of the day was my weekly chemotherapy treatment. I enjoyed the smiles on my nurses’ faces when I gave them a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. Someone rang the bell today, meaning they have finished treatment! I almost asked for the Benadryl so I could get in an afternoon nap; after all I did take the day off. Instead, my hubby and I sat together in the infusion room, looking deeply into each other’s eyes on this day set aside for lovers.
How I Got Through It
While it was an unusual Valentine’s Day to say the least, I was reminded of what a great husband I have. My husband was my chemo buddy. He went with me to every treatment, with the exception of one or two when his travel schedule could not be rearranged. After nearly thirty years of marriage, he still made me laugh. I have always been the serious one, and he has been the balance. He helps me not take things quite so seriously. He keeps me focused on the positive side of life, and helps me to enjoy each day. His schedule was very busy, but he still made time to be with me, to drive me back and forth to the clinic every week, and to take care of our house and me. His presence was a weekly reminder of the vow he had made to me on our wedding day, to stay with me “through sickness and in health.” I wish every woman who has breast cancer requiring chemotherapy could have a chemo buddy like mine.
Action Items
What will you do for Valentine’s Day? Maybe it’s next month or next year. You don’t have to wait until the next February rolls around. Consider how you might share some love with another person today. If you don’t have a chemo buddy or a sweetheart, find a way to express your love for another human being. Let your doctors and nurses know how much you appreciate them as well. Doing something nice for others helps us feel better. Finally, take time to laugh. Enjoy your day regardless of what treatments or doctor’s visits you have on your plate. Share your thoughts and leave us a comment. We’d love to hear from you.