Mom and Me
Karen D.
My Story
It was the summer of 2013 when my mom got the news that she had breast cancer. We were shocked and concerned since we had no known family history. She and Dad assured us that it was going to be okay; it was small, not aggressive, and could be removed. She had a lumpectomy and then started 21 days of radiation. We live eight hours apart, so we checked in often on the phone to see how she was doing. She was tired frequently, but came through smoothly.
Fast forward three months and I find a lump, get it checked and then learn that I also have breast cancer. Mom and Dad were so supportive and asked lots of questions. After my mastectomy, I had to ask them to forgive me for not paying more attention when she was going through her battle. I just didn’t know what to ask or what to do. I wish I had done more for my own mother! They were so supportive and caring, even long distance. I am thankful that I had someone to ask personal questions, who knew the terms and understood what I was going through.
How I Got Through It
A sense of humor helped tremendously. My mom showed us her radiation markings and we laughed about tattoos and permanent markers. So, when it was my turn, it just didn’t seem like a big deal. My mom and my sister helped shave my head when it was time and we were able to laugh about it being the weirdest thing we had ever done together. This time with my family helped me get through it.
Action Items
What questions should you ask someone who has received a cancer diagnosis? What can you offer to do to help them?
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Let them talk it out if needed.
- Just offering to be with them means a lot, but recognize that it may put more pressure on them to come up with ways for you to help.
- Make some notes about your intentions in the Comment section that follows.