Shared Concerns
Karen D.
My Story
It was the summer of 2013 when my mom got the news that she had breast cancer. We were shocked and concerned since we had no known family history. She and Dad assured us that it was going to be okay; it was small, not aggressive, and could be removed. She had a lumpectomy and then started 21 days of radiation. We live eight hours apart, so we checked in often on the phone to see how she was doing. She was tired frequently but came through smoothly.
Three months later I found a lump in my own breast. I got it checked and learned that I also had breast cancer. Mom and Dad were so supportive and asked lots of questions. After my mastectomy, I felt the need to ask them to forgive me for not paying more attention when Mom was going through her battle. I just didn’t know what to ask, or what to do. I wish I had done more for my own mother! They were so supportive and caring of me when I was diagnosed, even long distance. I am thankful that I had someone to ask personal questions, who knew the terms, and understood what I was going through.
How I Got Through It
Having a sense of humor helped tremendously. My mom showed us her radiation markings and we laughed about tattoos and permanent markers. So, when it was my turn, it just didn’t seem like a big deal. My mom and my sister helped shave my head when it was time and we were able to laugh about this being the weirdest thing we had ever done together. Sharing these concerns with someone who understood firsthand what I was going through was invaluable to the healing process.
Action Items
Leave a comment, or ask a question. What questions could you ask someone who has received a cancer diagnosis? Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Let them talk it out if needed. How can you offer to help them? Just offering to be with them means a lot, but recognize that it may put more pressure on them to come up with ways for you to help. If you are the patient, find a group of women, or at least one woman, who have experienced breast cancer. Connect with someone who understands firsthand what you are going through.