As a breast cancer survivor, my goal is to help other women who have been newly diagnosed to experience hope as they go through the journey. It is my faith in God that kept me going. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, it is also my privilege to help families who are affected by this horrible disease. My husband of almost 40 years and I have two grown children who are married, and seven grandchildren.
Twenty days have passed since my positive covid test, so they let me back in the building at MD Anderson. I’m back on track with treatment. We had to reload the Herceptin since it’s been more than four weeks. But, I just learned today, the Perjeta doesn’t have to be reloaded unless it has been more than six weeks. Yay! Usually, the drips are 30 minutes each. But this time it was 30 minutes for Perjeta and 90 minutes for Herceptin. That was enough time for us to conduct a research interview without interruption.
As I sit in front of my laptop watching the traffic outside of Panera Bread, I’m reminded of a road trip we took a few years ago with our two oldest grand-daughters. We took them to Arkansas to visit their great-mama (Tim’s mom). About half-way there, Alison (about four at the time) said in quite an emphatic voice, “I’m boring!”
Tim and I gave each other that quizzical, “what did she just say?” gaze, then busted into a gut-wrenching laugh as the translation to “I’m bored” settled in beneath the lightbulb. From that moment on, we no longer feel bored. Instead, from time to time we tell each other, “I’m boring.”
I don’t know why I’m particularly boring right now. I had a nice walk, it’s a beautiful day, I chatted with a friend, enjoyed a great salad and read some interesting stories. I have several hobbies, I’m learning a new language, and I’m working on some new books.
I sat in front of my computer and pondered, “what now?”
Perhaps I’m just a bit unmotivated rather than bored. However, this feeling did send me on a journey to read Healthline’s “Causes and Treatments for Boredom,” as well as “8 Reasons Why You Are So Easily Bored,” in Psychology Today. (Hmmm, there was a mention of autism. Perhaps I’m on the spectrum 😳.) And I read WebMD’s “Signs of Boredom.”
I also recalled some information about boredom from my marriage and family training. In the Prepare/Enrich assessment, individuals and couples are assessed on a number of factors. Stress is one of them. Stress is a curvilinear factor. What this means is: too little or too much stress can lead to a lack of production or even dysfunction. Too much stress can lead to anxiety, or depression. Boredom occurs when we have too little stress in our lives. We need just the right amount of stress to keep us moving, feel good, and accomplish our goals.
Now that I’m on a roll, it’s time to look at what the Scriptures have to say on the subject. Interestingly enough, the word “boredom” doesn’t appear in the Bible. If you search for it, you will find multitudes of passages where a woman “bore” a child, and where Jesus “bore our sins on the cross.” I would hardly equate these to boredom! Moving on…
Many Proverbs describe boredom in terms of laziness, and slothfulness. You know the sloth, the cutest (always smiling) creature that can barely move because it is sooooooo tired.
Hmmm. Not sure I like that one. I love the sloth and one day I want to see one in person, but I don’t want to be one. He could probably use a bit more stress in his life. I don’t want to be like the sloth unless my stress level gets too high, and then some sloth advice might come in handy. For example, “don’t hurry, be happy,” “hang in there,” “sometimes doing nothing is time well spent,” and “don’t quit; keep climbing.” But when I am boring, it is probably not the best time to sit and contemplate the sloth’s guidance on life.
Other Scriptures tell us what to do to overcome boredom. Paul directs us to serve the Lord with zeal, and not to be lazy in our service. I’ll tuck that one into my hip pocket for sure. I never want to be a sloth when it comes to serving the Lord. Here’s what Paul says in Romans.
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Romans 12:11 (ESV)
Be fervent, he says. Merriam Webster defines fervent as 1.very hot, or glowing, like the fervent sun, and 2. exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling, or zealous. When’s the last time you were on fire for Christ?
One way to overcome boredom is to do something different. Bump up the stress level just a little bit. Take on a new challenge. Find another purpose for the moment, the day, or this season of life. Look for something that brings back that zeal. Paul says to be fervent in spirit. I asked myself, “How can I change what I’m doing to very hot? Glowing? What can I do to increase the intensity of feeling, and become zealous in serving the Lord?”
Hence, this blog. I decided to do something productive with the feeling of boredom, rather than turn to social media or some other addictive game I might otherwise choose to play. I am here to serve the Lord by serving you, my readers. I hope you can see a glow, even if it is a very small flicker of a candle. At least now I can honestly say, I’m no longer “boring.”
À la prochaine…see you next time!
Do you ever feel bored? Leave a comment below and let us know what you do to overcome it. Your email address is only used to ensure you are a real person. Or to send you a Christmas card at the end of the year. Well, that is if I take the time to send them out. Well, maybe if I am boring at the time.
Tim got it on Christmas Eve, and I followed two days later. I was fortunate to spend time with the family on Christmas before it hit me (we didn’t know it was Covid at the time, but everyone who came over did fine). Tim missed all the hoopla as he was in bed all day. We both had a fever, and we both spent about three days in bed. Mine started with a horrible stomach virus, which was different from Tim’s fever and cough. It was so bad both eyes hemorrhaged. 😳 Nearly two weeks later my right eye is still blood red.
MD Anderson did my covid test. It was the fourth day (Dec. 29), and by then I was feeling fine. I honestly thought it would be negative since all my symptoms were basically gone. We were both feeling fine, organizing the garage, and pulling down Christmas. I only went in since I was scheduled for chemo this week.
When it came back positive, that meant I couldn’t step foot back in the building for at least 20 more days. And, my doctor said I should quarantine for ten days (even though the CDC says 5). Apparently the new five day guideline is to keep the economy going. But, if you can stay in for ten I was told it is better to do so.
My chemo schedule got interrupted as well.
After mine came back positive, we set out to find a test for Tim. They were all sold out during Christmas week, but a pharmacist friend managed to find us a home test kit. We drove all the way to south Houston to get it.
If you are a regular on my blog, you know how much I love to drive to Houston (not!), but we managed to multitask. The weather was shifting to freezing point over New Year’s weekend, and we needed to winterize the Airstream to avoid any possible pipe breakage. (Lesson learned from last year at this time.) We quarantined in our second home while wrapping up the pipes, avoiding contact with people the whole time.
We took the kit home and Tim turned out positive. So, we both spent time in Covid jail. We had already canceled our trip to Arkansas to see Tim’s mom; we missed all our traditional Christmas Eve traditions and Christmas services; and then we canceled our family plans for New Year’s Eve. It was a very quiet week with just the two of us hanging out at the house. We got a lot of cleaning and organizing done!
In addition, I finalized some videos and uploaded those to YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channels for fun stuff! We have two channels. One is for personal stuff, and one is more ministry related. Subscribe to both!
Several pastors and key leaders at the church got it as well. There weren’t enough people to play in the band or watch the children; they ended up cancelling in-person services the first Sunday of the New Year. Pastor Chelsea did an amazing job on the message though. That was worth tuning in for.
Tim was stir crazy once he started feeling better, so we took a few drives in the truck and a couple of times we ordered curbside (contact-free) takeaway during our quarantine. I didn’t wear make-up for a whole week! Tim’s second test a few days later came back negative! He went back to the office on Wednesday after New Year’s.
Me? I’m finally out of quarantine. Yay! I called the doctor last week, but they didn’t get back to me until Monday due to the holidays. She said getting the antibodies at this point wouldn’t help much (your body builds them for up to three months). So we both opted out. Good to know my body will fight it naturally, and even protect me for the remainder of the winter season.
I’m writing this blog from our favorite café (Panera Bread). I’m wearing a mask and steering clear of people even still. Since we were here last year, they added power outlets all around the building for people like us. We have some gift cards that have to be used this month, and of course I get my free tea. We are looking forward to a nice salad. Sitting here makes me feel a little more normal!
Interesting. “Blessed Assurance” is playing on the speaker. In Panera Bread! 🥰 That song is a great reminder to trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus (all the day long).
MD Anderson requires 20 days from a positive test before coming back into the building, but they don’t require a second test or a negative test. On my original schedule I would have had gotten infused yesterday; but, I will soon get back on track. They will have to reload. This means a slightly longer than usual time in the infusion center. It’s kinda nice to have a break.
We scheduled my next treatment for January 20th. Providentially, this new schedule works better for the remainder of the year. There’s the silver lining. 😶🌫️ I am truly hoping 2022 will turn out better once we are back on schedule.
Whew! Another year is gone, and a New Year has come. 2021 seemed to fly by like a bullet train, especially after the snail’s pace with which we met 2020. We all thought it would be a better year. We had high hopes for 2021. Somehow we thought it would rush in like Superman and save the day.
Well, the pandemic stuck around and even brought some nasty variants. It did seem to have some rough patches, but as I looked back through the year I discovered 21 milestones/achievements/new experiences. Some of it is personal, and some of it we did as a team. Here is my 2021 year in review…
Read the whole Bible using a Bible Plan on YouVersion. At times I fell behind, but I managed to catch up and I DID IT!
Lost some weight–about eleven pounds this year.
Finished in the top tier on Duolingo, and completed a 602 day streak (learning French).
Walked 203 miles (that we counted).
Spent about 40+ nights in the Airstream: north Texas (Grapevine) at the AS workshop, Bridgeport, Lake Whitney, west Texas (Odessa), south Texas (Donna), and the Jetstream RV Resort at NASA, (south Houston).
Took three long trips on my motorcycle, and a fourth on the back of Tim’s. Earned my 100,000 mile patch. Rode over 10,000 miles through 23 states this year alone. We have accomplished our domestic motorcycle bucket list. Time to do some fly and rides!
Served as a CNS officer (editor).
Painted feature walls and upgraded our shower. Turned our guest room into a playroom for the grandchildren. Sold our bikes and reclaimed our garage.
Awarded a research fellowship and attended our first residency at Villanova University.
Bought a Mini Cooper, then traded and upsized to the Countryman.
Our fifth grand baby Mikayla was born! We also learned we are expecting #6! Spent a lot of precious time with the grandkids last year.
Tested positive for Covid-19, Omicron variant. Yucky stuff!
Sat in a DeLorean time machine!
Fostered and rescued a dog.
Tim started a new job, and ended his work with TXM.
Published my first children’s book. We published a second book for sermon notes as well.
Wrote a few songs.
Cooked some new meals.
Watched a Carolina Wren raise her babies.
Completed our first Escape Room.
Big SNOW in Conroe that lasted a whole week in February.
I suppose I could add one more…stayed alive. I have made it to the five year mark since my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis, a day many professionals didn’t think we would see. I’ve already blogged about that, but it is certainly a milestone!
Our theme word for 2022 is “simplify.” We have already begun looking at the calendar and making plans for the new year. I am hopeful this year will be better than the last two. However, looking back on all we have experienced in 2021, I can’t complain.
Forget what happened before…I’m making a new thing.
Like I said in my last post…I wanted to wait until next year to get scanned. “Just in case.” I’m not anticipating bad news or anything. And I’m not worried. I’ve done this for a long time now. But, it seems whenever they find progression it’s always in December, right before Christmas. I really to find a way to schedule it differently in the future.
Have you ever wondered what it’s like on scan day? Today I decided to give you a little tour. So I recorded the various steps, just for those of you who take the time to read my blog. Feel free to leave a comment here or on the video!
🎼🎶Christmastime is here! Happiness and cheer! Bringing lots of traffic jams from Interstate to here… 🎼🎶 Chemo’s in the air. Beeping everywhere. Nurses by their patient’s side. And many memories there.🎹🎵
Ahhh. The music of Christmas. 😁 After wrapping several Christmas presents for the Grandkids at home, Tim chauffeured me to MD Anderson in The Woodlands where I would get my blood drawn before chemo. I sat a while waiting for the lab to call before they realized I was not on the schedule. (Good thing I checked!😳😳) A new receptionist had checked me in for chemo, but didn’t realize my labs were missing. Things always seem to go wrong when Tim comes with me 🤪🙄.
After that — lunch. We often do this between labs and chemo, but it doesn’t usually take this long. The traffic was backed up all the way to the restaurants. I’m guessing it must be early-release day from school! Crazy…!
Panera Bread was packed, not a parking space in sight, so we ate at the Thai Cottage next door. I must say it was absolutely delightful! The pace was perfect. The chicken noodle soup was amazing, and I gobbled up the yellow curry with shrimp. YUM! And I had the satisfaction of beating Tim 2 out of 3 games of Yazy while we waited for our meal to arrive.
Coming back to the medical center the traffic was not quite as horrific. I arrived at my appointment early in hopes of an earlier chemo time. Well…no such luck. My appointment was at 2:15, which was exactly when they called me back. The drip didn’t actually get started until after 3:15. I ducked into the cafe to get an afternoon snack to take with me. I was glad to see they are finally stocked with some goodies that aren’t plant-based. I prefer the orange ones, but I’m not complaining.
Now, here I sit, getting my first bag of chemo (Perjeta), sporting my new t-shirt in honor of the Christmas spirit.
Last bag is now dripping. I am getting my last infusion of the year. It is treatment round number 73. That’s about how old I feel at times 😂😂. I’ve seen procedures changed multiple times in the nine years I have been coming here. All for the better, I’m sure. For example, Herceptin now has to be covered by a dark brown bag shown here, as they discovered it is light-sensitive. They can only bring one drug at a time. They used to be able to do all of them at once.
These little blue covers are new. They clamp over the chemo connector. Apparently there was some leakage (yikes!), so this makes the connector more secure. My nurse told me I should see them from now on.
I’m almost finished with the drip at this moments as I finish up this blog post. Tomorrow I will have the last scans of the year. Since they typically access my port for that, I asked my nurse to use the bigger gauge needle for chemo today. As soon as my machine beeps and she unhooks me, I’ll get to go. I will keep the line in until tomorrow, so I won’t have to get poked again and save time on the scans.
Here at MD Anderson for my oncology check-up. I was first diagnosed with breast cancer nine years ago this month. The second time (stage 4) I was diagnosed was five years ago this month. Always right before Christmas . I was secretly hoping to avoid any scans before Christmas, but he wants them done before the end of the year, even better since copays start over in January.
I come in to see the doc about every three or four months. Everything is still good right now. He schedules my chem and imaging, and refills my prescriptions. As of now, my blood looks good and imaging is good. It’s been about six months since my last imaging so we will do that before the year ends.
Update: Scans are scheduled for Friday, December 17th. Then, hopefully we will only receive good news Christmas week.
They are always very encouraging whenever I come in here. I love my doctors and all the people who see me at MD Anderson. Every time I come I see a lot of people, including the phlebotomist who draws my blood, the tech who takes my vitals, the nurse who knows me by name and asks lots of personal questions, the physician assistant who checks my heart and lungs, and the medical oncologist. They are like family and friends and they genuinely seem to care. I will be on round 70-something next week, so we’ve been connected for a while now. I am so thankful for my team of experts who are keeping me alive.
God is not a God of statistics…
FIVE years! FIVE! I’ve lived to see five more Christmases. We made it! God is good. My husband has been there beside me the whole time, and I couldn’t have done it without his support. To put it into perspective, only 20-30% of women who are diagnosed MBC live five years, with the average being about three. The numbers are hard to track, because there isn’t a good tracking system nationwide. So that’s the best we know.
Also as a point of interest (and a shameless plug), “only 2%-5% of funds raised for breast cancer research is focused on research for the already metastasized patient.” Much more research needs to be done to better understand this disease. Metavivor is my favorite organization, since 100% their donated funds go to research.
As a friend of ours reminded us nine years ago this month after I was first diagnosed, “God is not a God of statistics.” Only He knows the future. He is the supernatural healer and certainly defies the odds. I trust Him.
A few weeks ago I shared the sad story of Midnight, our daughter’s puppy who we fostered for five days. Due to their apartment restrictions and allergies in the family, they could no longer keep him. The shelter was closed when they moved, so we let them put him in our back yard until he could be taken to the shelter.
He was such a sweet puppy, only ten months old, and we fell in love with him. I became much more attached than I imagined I could. You can read more in my former blog about Midnight. We did have fun with him while we had him. He proved to be fast, smart, sweet, and he could jump! (Our fan remote which we left on the table has seen better days 🙄.)
A short video of our fun with Midnight.
It was time for our big bike trip to Lake Michigan, so we could no longer keep him in our yard. Also, we have too much stress to have a pet given my diagnosis and all our commitments. After many pleas, multiple connections, and no results, we took him to the Conroe animal shelter. I had heard horrible things about them, and I experienced it as well. However, we were left with no option but to leave him there and pray for this dear dog’s life.
I am so happy to reporthe has been rescued!A rescue organization called Forgotten Dogs of the Fifth Ward tagged him in less than a week to be saved. They found him a foster home not far from us. He got a virus in the shelter, so they gave him some medicine before he was to go home. They x-rayed a leg. They gave him shots. And, they neutered him. Many thanks to Kelle Mann and the Forgotten Dogs for saving his life.
The new owner is going to foster him until a forever home can be found, but I suspect they may turn into his forever home. They built him a new kennel in their air conditioned and heated garage where he will stay at night. They also have a great set-up outside for the dogs. Watch the video at the end for a great invention to keep dogs hydrated!
It took a few weeks for them to get him due to the virus, vet visits, and then they went on vacation. I waited until he was in his new home to blog about it as I was on pins and needles hoping it would go through. She kept updating me with information about him, and it was good to hear from her.
While they were on vacation, he stayed at the Kickapoo Ranch where he was trained. (Apparently he was running over and knocking down the older, little pugs at their home🤪, so he needed some attention.) The new owners also went for training, just before they brought him home on October 5th.
He has a new name!
Midnight is now “Blackberry.” I love that name, and so does Elizabeth. She was happy to see the updates and hear he is doing so well. It is not uncommon for new owners to give a pet a new name. It is unlike people who are very attached to their names. Dogs respond to whatever prompt they are given (and we given dogs many nicknames anyway).
The Bible talks about names. People were assigned a new name as a sign of hope, new beginnings, and new blessings. Abram was changed to Abraham, Sarai became Sarah, Jacob became Israel, and Simon was called Peter by Jesus. Blackberry is filled with hope for the future and blessings. I like that.
Here is a brief conglomeration of the pictures and movies sent to me by the new owner. It was so good to keep up and see he is happy and healthy. I love happy endings! ❤️❤️ I thought you might as well.
And now he is Blackberry! Getting trained and settled into his new home.
A famous poet once said, “Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.” I am fortunate. I have found both.
Why does water have such an allure? We are all too familiar with it. Our bodies, as well as the earth, contain about 70% water. It should be mundane. We see it on a regular basis, in the rain and as we sweat. Yet, mere words cannot explain the beckon to which we respond. The moon seduces the tides of the sea, creating unique and inspiring experiences every second, minute and hour of the day. A tall glass of water nourishes the soul on a hot and thirsty day. Sailboats and mighty ships navigate the deep. Sandy beaches on the shore host thousands of romantic sun seekers.
Perhaps God created the earth as well as our bodies to remind us of the Living Water.
John 7:38
I love the beach, sounds of the crashing waves, seagulls and lighthouses. Lake Michigan has a magnetism different from the balmy ocean shore. A beach without salt, in cooler climates, and a natural wonder–it is the perfect combination to check off an item on our bucket list. However, several attempts by my hubby and me to ride there have been averted by weather or personal circumstances.
Until now.
When the HOG National Touring Rally announced they were going to circle Lake Michigan, my hubby and I were “all in!” #Ride365
The routes were planned and hotels were reserved. Rain or shine we were going, encouraging others to ride along. This would be the longest trip to date on Free (my Heritage), in a line-up of bikes with my hubby on his Road Glide. A few other friends decided to join us on this epic journey.
I ride because I can. I can because God is continuing to work miracles in my body. When the doctor said I had less than two years to live, God had other plans! (That was five years ago and my body is stable.) While I will always be considered “terminal,” “incurable,” and therefore “disabled” by legal standards, I believe God has something more to do in my life. I push myself to the limit, because my limit is not God’s limit. What I cannot do by my own strength, He provides.
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:14 NLT
Our kick stands were up on August 26th, 2021, two days after our 36th anniversary. Twelve days later–Labor Day, September 6th–we would be back home, bikes safely nestled inside our garage. Just in time for several birthday celebrations. So, this was kind of an anniversary / birthday / “I can do all things through Christ” combination ride.
Facebook contains daily logs of our travels, with lots of pictures too. We also made a video (surprised? 😂😂). Highlights included riding the Natchez Trace Parkway all the way from the southern to northern terminus, finding the “big egg” in Mentone Indiana, the HOG Touring Rally events, riding through the “Tunnel of Trees,” Legs Inn Historic Landmark, Lighthouses, crossing the Mackinac Bridge (it’s a suspension bridge, and we had to ride on the grates 😳😳), riding by Lake Superior, Door County Loop and Al’s Swedish Restaurant (best known as “the restaurant with goats on the roof”), the Harley-Davidson Museum and Hometown Rally, scenic byways with Amish in carriages led by horses, watching a horse slip on wet pavement and fall to the ground right in front of us (😳), early morning fog, and of course the camaraderie of all our riding buddies.
All around the Lake we had the most beautiful weather. Blue skies and cool riding temperatures. We only had a few patches of rain on the way up and back, but otherwise it was picture perfect.
Here’s a link to the video recap, which barely scratches the surface. Be sure to turn on the sound to hear Flat Cowboy’s 🤠 reflections on the trip. 😂😂🤪🤪 He’s our Chapter Mascot. You’ll also hear from our Shooters, the leaders of the Rally, and an extra rider we picked up in Mentone Indiana at the big Egg 😂. The guys from the Woodlands Chapter turned down an interview, but we enjoyed having them on the ride as well!
In addition to the video and pictures I took on my iPhone in the previous movie, I also shot some footage on my GoPro, which was attached to my mustache bar. Unfortunately, most of the time I couldn’t reach the record button from the saddle. (I did try a couple of times on a straight and traffic-free road 😜😜.) The video below includes a conglomeration of shots from that angle as well, which is totally new footage not previously seen. I think it’s pretty cool.
A little disclaimer here. I’m still learning how to record the bluetooth intercom system with my Hero 3+, but it was fun to try. When making movies it is important yet very challenging to anticipate scenes in advance. For example, when to turn on the video to get that “perfect shot,” how long the battery will last, and how much footage that little disk can hold. It’s especially hard when riding in a group, setting up the camera while trying not to hold everyone up. I don’t have a production crew. Motorcycling requires one to practice minimalism. It’s just me and my iPhone, or my GoPro camera. I shoot, and I edit. (I use iMovie because it’s free and easy to use.) I’m just thankful to have the equipment to do something I love. And I am especially grateful when people do silly antics or say amazing things to make it more enjoyable.
That’s probably way more technical stuff than you care to know 😂🤪😎. So, now you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!
I really wanted to record the entire Bridge crossing, but I was SO scared just hanging on for dear life. I didn’t know for sure if it was recording. Seems the battery died half-way across the bridge, sadly 😪, just before we had to ride on the grated lane 😳😳. But, I was pleased to see some footage of the bridge and tunnel of trees on the download, which I thought I had missed completely.
Since Big Mac is the only way across to the Upper Peninsula, that’s proof enough. Did it. Checked the box. Probably won’t do it again 😂. Well, I could be swayed.
From that point on, the GoPro stayed in my bag. I couldn’t be bothered.
There’s a lot to remember when gearing up for a ride, including putting everything away and locking down all the saddlebags; pre-checking the bike with T-CLOCS (does anyone do that?🤪🤪); gearing up with sunscreen, lip balm, headband, bandana, turtle neck, jacket, chaps, gloves, goggles, helmet, headphones, intercom, phone, GoPro; and entering the address into my GPS. I take my time so as not to forget anything, but it’s never foolproof. Just ask some unknown rider who lost their gloves and hat a short ride from one of our hotels. No, we didn’t stop and pick them up, although we probably would have found their owner at the next Rally meet-up point.
“Can you hear me?” Silence. Tim’s Sena battery had a propensity to run out ahead of mine. On those occasions, I took the lead since I had the address plugged into my phone. We discovered my riding style changes when I’m in the lead. Generally, I take off faster, ride down the road at higher speeds, and don’t hesitate as much since I don’t have to figure out what the bike in front of me is doing. At least, that’s what I’m told. If you ride in front of me (or behind me for that matter), be prepared to wait. 🤪😜🤪
Tim’s reassuring voice was in my ear as I rode 3,936 miles on my bike (my biggest ride yet), and an additional 209 with him on the Road Glide, for a grand total of 4,145 miles. Quite a trip! If you haven’t gone there, go! Memories that will last a lifetime.
Rewind to Sunday, the beginning of this week. I was helping our daughter’s family move out of her apartment into another apartment. Midnight was their puppy, now ten months old. Still growing, and soon to be a big dog. Too big to live in a crate while mom and dad go to work.
Ambivalent about whether to keep him, they kept waiting to make that decision. I must have asked a dozen or more times, “what are you going to do about the dog?”
They have had several job changes, cuts in pay, medical bills, and moving into the apartment would require vet visits, shots, neutering, pet deposit, and monthly pet fees. Their whole reason for moving was to decrease their monthly costs. The children’s asthma, mixed with the challenges of feeding and caring for a big dog, was too much for a family with a tiny apartment. After much contemplation, they came to the realization they did not have the means to keep him. They decided it was in the best interest of the family to give him up.
What’s next?
We were out of town on a preaching gig when we got the call. Elizabeth was insistent he not go with them to the new apartment. (It is impossible to sneak a big dog into your apartment, let alone keep him quiet when you live right in front of the office.) They asked if they could drop him in our backyard until he could be taken to the shelter, which had closed for the day. We didn’t want to do it, but they were insistent on not moving him into their new apartment, so we acquiesced. We would be home later that evening to feed him.
It’s easy to fall in love with such a wonderful pet. I recognize the grave and arduous difficulty of this decision. It was not easy for them. He is part black lab, part blue heeler. Looks like a lab with some blue heeler traits. He’s super smart, fun, sweet, loves to play, and loves to jump. Remarkably fast. Didn’t bark the entire time we had him.
As it turned out, the Montgomery County Shelter was closed the next day, and the next. They would be closed for accepting new animals for the next two weeks because of Covid, so this bought me some time. Tim agreed to keep him a few more days, but Friday was it.
I immediately started on a mission to rescue him. We couldn’t keep him, but maybe someone else could. I tried many foster and rescue organizations. Called the shelter to get their information. Reached out to friends, family, neighbors. I put his picture on FaceBook, in rescue groups, on Instagram. I did everything but take him to Walmart with a “free puppy” sign attached.
Somehow it was shared with groups near and far, including a rescue group in Arizona. While I was getting chemo I was in touch with a lady who sounded perfect for Midnight. Had there been transportation, we would have had a home for him there. Our daughter and son-in-law started questioning whether they should take him back home, but the texts confirmed their intentions not to do so.
I learned some things along the way. For example, there is a current animal crisis (another result of Covid). Covid puppies like Midnight are in excess, and the shelters are overcrowded. People took in puppies, and their dogs couldn’t get fixed due to the veterinarian rules during covid, so more puppies were born. Many, many puppies. And kittens. Now that we are nearly post-pandemic, people are going back to work. Reality of life is setting in, and they can no longer care for a pet. All the rescues want to find a foster home until they can find a forever home. This takes time. And money.
SO many pets need adopting right now.
Several times I thought we had a home for Midnight. Cattle ranches, horse ranches, talk about friends taking him, amongst other things. We kept waiting to see if any of these plans would materialize. Every day we said, “one more day.” But every trail went cold, and it seemed this puppy was destined for the shelter.
He thinks our patio table is his bed. Cooling off under the ceiling fan.
He was starting to get restless, digging in the yard, chewing our remote, taking over our patio furniture and sleeping on the table. Generally making a big dog’s mess in the yard. Yeah, you know the kind.
We didn’t sign up for this. We can’t even enjoy our own backyard! There’s a million reasons we don’t have a pet! We travel, leave home a lot, do not have time or know-how to train him properly, and we don’t really have the kind of space he needs.
If we were going to keep him, we would approach this very differently. But it just isn’t possible. At the end of the day, today, there were no other options.
We live in Conroe, so we can only take him two places. Montgomery County or Conroe animal shelter. Since Montgomery County was closed, Conroe was our only option. I reached out to people once more. I was starting to hear crickets, even from our daughter.
Conroe shelter reviews are horrible. I get it. We didn’t want to do it. We actually considered driving him to the country and dropping him off where he could find a farm to live on, but that would likely just prolong the inevitable. I would feel even worse if I read about an accident because this dog jumped in front of their car. Plus, a long drive to the country did not seem doable given our current circumstances.
He enjoyed the ride in the back of the pickup, totally unaware of the purpose for being there. He tried to jump out, skinning his paw, but fortunately we were able to catch him before he was seriously injured.
We decided Tim would watch Midnight while I went in to talk. These workers must have no soul. Not an ounce of compassion for our situation or our feelings. I confirm what the reviewers say about the workers. I left in tears, which continued to flow for the remainder of the day.
I made the mistake of telling them his name. “How do you know his name?” was her snide retort. When I explained the situation, she said owners have to pay $50 to surrender him. “He’s your responsibility.” Another curt response, mean even. Even though he was never our dog, they considered us the owners. They wouldn’t take him if we didn’t pay the money.
“What if I told you he was a stray?” At this point the lady threatened me. “You’d better be careful. You’re on camera.” She pointed to the camera. “You told us the story. You need to be careful what you say.”
I was having a hard time holding it together. I walked out when she said I would have to sign a euthanasia agreement. It was the way she said, “He’ll be euthanized.” Cold. Calculated. Absolutely no compassion whatsoever. For me or the dog. What I’ve been told about this shelter was confirmed.
A family came in looking for a puppy. I told them we had one out in the truck if they wanted to take a look. That resulted in another hurtful comment. “You can’t rehome here.” They wanted to take a look, but they wanted a smaller dog anyway.
I went back outside to where Tim was keeping an eye on Midnight, who was panting in the heat, getting some shade from the bed cover. I almost said to Tim, “let’s take him home.” But I value my marriage way more than a dog we have only had in our yard for five days. I explained to him what just happened. I couldn’t deal with them any more. Could he please finish up. I’ll watch the dog.
Fortunately for me, my hubby is my protector. He has broad shoulders. While I didn’t want him to experience what I had just experienced, I knew he could handle it. He agreed. They are heartless.
After the papers were signed, and the fee was paid, we walked Midnight to the side of the building where the handler was ready to receive him. He was the kindest of all the workers. Looked him over, and gave him some pats. Midnight seemed happy to meet his new friend.
That’s the last we saw of this precious puppy.
Our only hope is to pray someone falls in love with him like we did. Someone to adopt him. Someone with land and a family, or a farm where he can be put to work. Someone who can rescue him from the Conroe Animal Shelter monsters.
This was so much more difficult than I ever expected. I thought about it and contemplated for quite a while, wondering, “why?” He’s a dog! And we really only knew him for about a week. How did I get so attached to a dog in just five days?
As the tears flowed, I am still a bit unearthed by the experience. I’m still processing it all. He was part of my daughter’s and my grandchildren’s family for nearly a year. Perhaps that’s it. I do not want to be remembered as “the one who took Midnight to the pound.” I will gladly relinquish that title to my husband.
While all things aren’t necessarily a part of my cancer journey, I can’t help but wonder how much of this experience is related. I’m much more sensitive now. More compassionate. More vulnerable. More aware of life and death than ever before. With cancer, there is constant loss. Constant good-byes. Bad news comes just as frequent, or more frequent in many cases, as the good. I guess I was hoping for a happy ending here, and it just doesn’t seem like we’re going to see it.
Á la prochaine…until next time.
If you or someone you know would like to foster or adopt Midnight, please act quickly! He is at the Conroe Animal Shelter, 407 Sargent Holcomb Blvd., Conroe Texas. His ID is A034130. Phone: 936-522-3550. Call TODAY!
. I was secretly hoping to avoid any scans before Christmas, but he wants them done before the end of the year, even better since copays start over in January. 
