As a breast cancer survivor, my goal is to help other women who have been newly diagnosed to experience hope as they go through the journey. It is my faith in God that kept me going. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, it is also my privilege to help families who are affected by this horrible disease. My husband of almost 40 years and I have two grown children who are married, and seven grandchildren.
We got our lot fit for Lot #75, and then the developer called to remind us there is an active pipeline with a 20 foot utility easement running across the front of the property. When we had originally looked at the lot, he led us to believe it was close to the road, near the culvert. As it turned out, the easement was one foot from our front door, and the walkway was on top of the easement đłđł.
That set us on a journey of discovery.
The developer sent us an additional document from Explorer (the pipeline company) which said that if ever we wanted to do anything over the easement, including paved driveway, we had to send a proposal and they would have up to 180 days to review. SIX MONTHS! And then they could make you change your plan. We were calculating how much time the builder has to do their work, and now we are concerned they have not even started this process. Also, someone from the pipeline has to be present the entire time you do any improvements.
I reached out to my friends on Facebook, and those who have pipelines on their property (which is very common in Texas). They had a variety of things to say. One rancher in particular said he had some horror stories, as well as some not so bad stories. Our main concern was what would happen if they decided to come in and do repairs and broke up our driveway, or our walkway? Would they fix it? Would we have access to our house? How long could it take? Would they mow over any landscaping we might plant (they are responsible for mowing the pipeline easement)? How responsive are they going to be to our inquiries? So many questions raised our DefCon level a notch or two.
We decided to reach out to Explorer and ask some questions before getting too panicky. We called, sent emails, called again, tried and tried, and never could get a response. One guy finally sent an email acknowledging he had gotten the email, but that was the end of his communication. Needless to say, we were not feeling very comfortable about having an Explorer active pipeline on our property.
The builder suggested we change lots, so we started that process.
At this point we were very grateful they had not yet purchased Lot #75. It was still on reserve. The developer had gone up on their prices by about $20-30,000, so switching to another lot was going to be a challenge. Before we left Texas for our northern trip, we went back out to the property and looked at other lots. As it turned out they had just opened access to some other lots we had not seen before. Lot #84, just a few lots down from #75 but outside of the pipeline easement, was a bit smaller (1.0 acre) but it had some advantages over #75. For one, it is relatively square (#75 is a big trapezoid). Also, #84 backs up to some beautiful trees (more, in fact, than #75). It is a bit closer to the front, so they should start pinning those lots sooner đ€đ».
We can see progress is happening out there. Lots of heavy equipment are moving dirt around, creating retention ponds, placing culverts, etc. The roads have been graded, and it is easier to see where each lot is located (although still not accurately). We feel pretty confident they will be able to start building soon (hurricanes aside).
All that to say, we have officially switched to Lot #84. The builder CFO had to get involved because the developer wanted to increase our cost to current prices, but he did some magic and we signed the document this week to switch from #75 to #84.
We’ll keep you posted on further progress.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
About 100 days ago we sold our house in Conroe, moved our stuff into storage, and moved into our Roam Home to begin full-time living, while waiting for our new house to be built. We are very blessed to have an Airstream that provides comfort and travel opportunities to live in while we are “homeless.”
A little background behind this decision might be helpful. We downsized in 2019 from a 4,000+ SF home to a 2050 SF home just a half mile down the road, in the same neighborhood. We loved the house, loved the builder, and loved the community. It met our needs on many levels. It was close to MD Anderson as well as other amenities, there were trees behind us, we had a nice sized yard, good neighbors, and a relatively quiet neighborhood. We thought this would be our forever “retirement” home.
Then COVID hit.
The RV Industry exploded. People were tired of staying home. Online jobs increased, which expanded opportunities. The whole world was buying RVs and moving into them at a pace greater than the market could support. We made plans to travel places the motorcycles couldn’t go, avoid hotels, and bought the last Airstream on the lot. After a year of trying to do both, we let the bikes go and Airstreaming became our priority. Each time we would hook her up and go on a trip, we started thinking about how we could store her closer to home when we weren’t in it.
Things were changing in the world, as well as in our own neighborhood. The trees started coming down between our home and the interstate, the road noise got louder and louder, multiple families (and their cars) were moving into the same house just three doors down, our family was growing and making our home feel a bit too small, and we wanted to have our Airstream on property with us. The only way to get around all of these issues was to look for some land where we could have some space between us and the road noise, a bit more elbow room between us and our neighbors, and a big enough lot where we could build an RV barn and keep the Airstream on property. An added bonus was a slightly bigger house and yard for when the family comes to visit.
We reserved a 1.24 acre lot (#75) in an acreage community called The Manors in New Waverly Texas (it’s about 15-20 minutes from our former home). It’s a High Meadows development; we toured their other properties containing multi-million dollar homes, and felt very good with how the final developments had turned out. The developer “promised” they would be ready to sell us the lot within a couple of months, but it’s taking a bit longer for them to get there. This is their first time developing in Walker County, so it’s going a bit slower than they originally anticipated. (For example, surprising to us is the requirement to have fire hydrants in Walker County, which are not required in Montgomery county.) That was a bonus in our eyes. We signed on the lot before they were pinned, while roads are still in the dirt phase.
After reserving the lot, we had to find a builder. We signed a contract with Gracepoint Homes, after interviewing many, many (did I say many?) builders over several months’ time. It’s been quite a process! This all took place before we sold our home in Conroe. My caveat for moving forward and selling the house was this: we choose a lot and builder first, so I don’t end up without a home or a home to move into đ€Șđ„Ž.
We chose Gracepoint for several reasons, not necessarily in order of priority.
First, they had the best price for a quality product. We picked one of their floorpans, which saved a ton of money, and then customized it to our needs. They are a custom home builder, so we could change anything we wanted (within reason). The next possible builder was $40K more expensive and their home was smaller by 300 SF. It was a no-brainer.
Second, Gracepoint offered a program where they bundle the house and land, meaning we don’t have to do the closing on the property or get a loan until the final product is complete. No other custom builder was offering this option. That was such a blessing, considering we were homeless and travelling until the house is built.
Third, we like the builder. They have a good reputation even with other builders. They are easy to work with, respond to calls and emails, and Tammy is always friendly when we talk with her on the phone. They seem to be genuinely advocating for our best interest.
This is our first time being one of the first, if not the first, to build a house in a community. Honestly, it scares the bejeebers out of us. It took a very long time to make this decision because of the potential risks involved. At the end of the day, the homes are so far apart we don’t feel like other owners’ home construction will be that big of an issue. We prayed about all the options and felt very confident this was the right choice, so we signed on the dotted lines.
We put our house on the market and within less than a week we had a contract for $20,000 over our (already high) asking price. Two weeks later we closed and had completely moved out. That very quick timeline, the purchase price, the builder bundling the loan, and other pieces were further confirmation we are doing the right thing. We feel very much at peace with this decision.
So, what’s the status on your house? How is your house coming along? When will it be done?
I fear this blog is already getting too long. You’ll just have to read the next one for a status update. đ€Șđ„Žđđđ
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
The Secret Life of Sunflowers by Mara Molner was recommended by a friend. I thought about suggesting it to my book club, but decided to read it first. I will definitely recommend it when it’s my turn. I have grown to love historic fiction. This is an easy read, and it’s the third book I’ve read this month.
This book is about half fiction and half history, going back and forth in time. It follows the life of Emsley, an art auctioneer and granddaughter to Violet, a Hollywood Celebrity (current day, fiction). Her grandmother leaves a box to her, which contains an old diary, in addition to some letters written in Dutch. Â As Emsley is reading the diary, written in English in the 1800s, she realizes this is the diary of Johanna Bonger, the sister-in-law to Vincent Van Gogh. We are transported back in time to her life (historic and true with some fiction interspersed for the story’s sake). I learned a lot about the Van Goghs that I didnât already know, or had forgotten.
Tim and I visited the Van Gogh museum nearly 30 years ago when we were in Amsterdam. It was our first trip overseas as a married couple (not including our mission trip to Mexico, as that was not technically “over-seas.”) We were on a tight budget. We booked the cheapest flight and that’s how we landed in Amsterdam. We also booked an inexpensive hotel. We were so new to traveling at the time, we really had no clue how to go about finding the best locations.
Little did we know, we would have to walk through the red light district to get anywhere! I remember the smell of cannibus everywhere we went, being offered to buy it in the shops, and feeling a little unnerved by the women standing in the windows as we walked through the district (I had never seen glow-in-the-dark underwear before – wow).
I also remember the good things. The canals, the very old architecture, the trams, and the snowflakes. They were the biggest I had ever seen fall from the sky; I have never seen any to compare since that day. People continued to ride their bikes as a primary means of transportation, even in the snow, holding an umbrella with one hand and the handlebar with the other. It was surreal. We also took a day tour of the windmills and a shoe factory. Now that I think of it, our daughter was 3 or 4 years old at the time. I bought her a little Dutch outfit which she wore for the fall festival later that year. Good memories.
Vincent Van Gogh was Dutch, and his brother Theo believed in his brother’s talent, trying to sell his work. He only sold one painting while Vincent was alive, and that was to a family friend. You may remember from art history that Vincent was mentally ill, and eventually committed suicide. What I did not remember was that his brother Theo was so grief-stricken and filled with remorse that he, too, ended up in a home for the mentally ill. He died about six months after Vincent. That’s the sad part of the story.
Johanna, now a widow and mother to an infant, took on her husband’s baton. It was her way of keeping the memory of her husband alive in her heart. She was rejected many times, but did not give up. She finally decided to represent his work herself. She was the first female art agent, and was not taken seriously in the beginning. However, her persistence was largely responsible for making Vincent’s artwork famous. Johanna kept impeccable notes in a diary, which Emsley is reading. There is an actual diary, which has now been made public. However, the author published the book just a few months before they were made public, and had to get her research from numerous other sources, mostly out of print. Her recounting of Johanna seems to be spot on though, in my humble opinion. Regardless, The Secret Life of Sunflowers is a great story with a lot of uplifting quotes that encourages women to just âgo for it.â
Emsley’s life also provided some levity to the book. I think it added immensely to imagine that her grandmother had in her possession the diaries of Vincent’s sister-in-law. Emsley’s friends (and Violet) made me laugh, and her pet chicken was a great addition to the story.
Read it. You won’t be disappointed.
Vincent Van Gogh painted a lot of sunflowers, which provided some insight into his life. His addition of color amidst all the gray in his other paintings (as well as life) brought moments of happiness for the artist. Apparently, sunflowers will grow wherever they are planted, regardless of soil type. He believed sunflowers were stretching toward the sun in gratitude. The is a reminder for us to do the same.
Also, if you believe someone is suffering from a mental illness, please reach out and help them. You may be the only sunflower in their life.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
I finished my June book early and started on my book for July (even though we will be traveling). I finished this novel fairly quickly as well. Itâs a pretty easy read, and the author keeps your interest as you seek to know more. We were still on Lake Livingston, staying in our Airstream, when I read this book. Lake living sure is relaxing! It’s like a perpetual vacation.
These Tangled Vines, by Julianne Maclean, starts with what we would all love to hear â you just inherited some property in Italy! At least, I would! Iâve never been to Italy but if someone wanted to give me a vineyard, I donât think I would turn it down.
But Iâm getting ahead of myself.
The book is set in Tuscany and primarily follows three women: Fiona, Lillian, and Sloane. There are spoilers in this review, so if you plan to read the book, SCROLL past the sections with “Spoilers.” đđ
The setting was beautiful, as the author described it. Iâve seen pictures of Italy and I would love to go there one day. It seems like such a serene, calm, and peaceful environment. The food would be a bonus! The author did a good job of including enough descriptions to make me wish I was there.
KEEP ON SCROLLING…
Fiona Bell is a young woman in her 30s (young to me, anyway). Her perspective is the only one shared in first person, and she is a likable character. She is single with some relationship issues. Fiona was 18 when her mother died, and on her deathbed her mother revealed to Fiona that her fatherâwho she has known these past 18 years as her fatherâis not her biological father. (What?? Can you imagine hearing that from your mother on her deathbed?)
Her biological father (Anton) owns a vineyard in Italy, but her mother makes her promise to keep this news a secret from her father, because it would devastate him. The father who raised her has been in a wheelchair her whole life due to a horrible accident in Italy. He had only bad memories of their trip. The dutiful daughter kept her promise for all these years. She didnât want to hurt her father.
Fiona receives a phone call from a lawyer in Italy, who tells her that her biological father had passed away. He urges her to be there for the reading of the will as she is named as one of the heirs. She was too late to attend the funeral, but if she hurried she could make it in time for the reading of the will. After much contemplation, she lied to her father and his caregiver, got on the next flight to Italy, and began to face her past. Her motherâs past. Her fatherâs past. It was quite a tangled story, hence the title.
Fiona had always believed Anton to be a man who took advantage of her mother, a womanizer, or some other connotation of negative relationship, so she never sought to know him or attempt to have a relationship with him. She also didnât want to hurt her disabled father by engaging in an attempt to know him. Little did she know she would be walking into a hornetâs nest with Antonâs two older childrenâwho only just learned that they had a half-siblingâwith all the implications of her âstealingâ their inheritance as an illegitimate child, manipulations by her mother, and other serious accusations regarding her character and her intentions.
The second woman followed in the book is Lillian, Fionaâs mother. She and her husband went to Tuscany for a season, while her husband was writing his first novel. She took a job at a vineyard in Tuscany, and the reader is aware that this is the same vineyard which is owned by Fionaâs biological father Anton. The author jumps back and forth in history to share details of the relationship Lillian had with Anton. It was clearly an affair, which both of them seemed to genuinely try not to engage in. He was the perfect gentleman.
Antonâs wife was living in LA with their two children and had recently filed for divorce. They rarely saw each other in spite of his constant begging for her to bring the children. Lillianâs husband was off in Paris writing his novel and was not staying connected to her because, âItâs long distance.â Throughout their marriage, she had put all of her attention onto her husband and his writing career, yet he did not support her desires or needs. One can see how easy it was for her to fall into the arms of another man, regardless of looks or status. She offers some business advice to Anton on marketing the Americans; he is very supportive and complimentary of her ideas and there is a chemistry between them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NO SPOILERS HERE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aside, thatâs how affairs usually get started. Another reminder to support and compliment your spouse. If you donât, someone else probably is! Give him or her the love they need.
In all my years of being a marriage therapist, I donât recall anyone who had an affair tell me they did it âon purpose.â (If they did, I would consider an even bigger issue than this.) Their typical response, âit just happened.â It started with a conversation, complimentary and support of ideas, a hand on the back, a lengthier conversation, brooding over the individual, and so on. It happened because they didnât guard their heart. Their spouse didnât guard their spouseâs heart either, and their spouse was not fulfilling a deep need in their life. Iâm not excusing affairs, so please donât email me and blast me about this. I am not in favor of affairs. And I am not in favor of divorce for the majority of marriages. God hates divorce. However, I do understand how affairs can happen when someone is living in an emotional desert. Perhaps because of my profession I am a bit more understanding of Lillian and her dilemma.
KEEP ON SCROLLING
Anyway, back to the story. Fiona learns through her research and conversations with various staffers that Lillian and Antonâs relationship went beyond a one-night stand or sexual offense. Anton did not take advantage of Lillian as she had previously thought. Their relationship grew over time, and they were very much in love. Lillian had not heard from her husband in weeks. She finally made plans to leave her husband and stay with Anton. But suddenly, her husband returns, was involved in an accident, and became a quadriplegic. I wonât tell you the details of the incident, so as not to spoil the entire story, but it is a juicy part of the story. After the accident, Lillian comes to her senses, says good-bye to Anton, goes back to America with her husband. She spends the rest of her life taking care of his needs. Recompense, perhaps?
The third woman is Sloane, Fionaâs half-sister. Fiona also has a half-brother, Conner. Neither of them stayed in touch with their father after the divorce, and they were both fairly spoiled and entitled individuals. I felt like Connerâs character was a bit one-dimensional as he remained the same throughout the book. Some people are not willing to forgive. Conner and Sloane (and their mother) never knew about Fiona until she arrived for the reading of the will, so they were justifiably angry. They believed she was there to manipulate and take over, and they thought she was there just for the money. She never came to Italy, after all. While Conner remains angry and maintains the bitterness toward Fiona and Lillian, Sloane begins to see the truth about her father, the vineyard at Tuscany, and the situation between Anton and Lillian for what it was. She also has a revelation about herself, her children, and her family. I liked seeing her transformation, which again reminds us that anyone can change, and anyone can forgive.
Even Fiona. After Fiona learns she has inherited the vineyard (yes, the whole kit and caboodle), she resolves the issues she had with her mother and learned to love her father (Anton). She then goes back home to deal with her stepdad. For her entire life, she had taken up the baton that her mother passed on to her. Just as her mother had given up on her own desires in life, Fiona sacrificed her life to care for her dad. He obviously needs care, but he has also used his disability (and other means prior to the accident) to prevent the women in his life from advancing their own selves. He was afraid of âlosingâ them, so he held them tight. So tight that Fiona was feeling smothered. She was bitter at him for losing an opportunity to connect to her biological father and wasnât sure she could ever forgive him.
I felt like the book wrapped up everything pretty well, but the resolution between Fiona and her dad seemed a bit abrupt. Within one chapter she went from âIâm so mad at youâ to âOkay, I forgive you.â It felt a bit quick after all the chapters that preceded that moment in time, like the author was tired of writing by that point.
Other than thatâdealing with her stepdad issueâI really liked the book. I liked the way it ended, and I liked the overall messages one can draw from it. Lillianâs affair could have been avoided, and this is something all couples should consider, but she would never go back and change it as she has a daughter she loves. While she could have justified leaving her husband, she made the choice of commitment to her wedding vows. Itâs way too easy for couples to give it up when things get tough, so I appreciated her decision no matter how difficult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~YOU HAVE REACHED THE NO SPOILERS ZONE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lessons for couples? Love your spouse. Love is an action word, so show them love in the things you do, say, and time you spend together. Hold your spouse tight but donât squeeze the breath out of them. Encourage one another to have independence and reach their individual goals, all the while balancing it out focusing on the relationship. Most importantly (not necessarily in the book), developing a relationship with God as a couple will draw the couple closer to each other, and increase their love for each other.
I’m so glad I have a husband who has stuck with me through thick and thin. I’ve heard firsthand stories of men leaving their wives when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. But Tim has been with me, caring for me, and picking up the slack when I have been unable to follow through. He’s a champion!
We havenât had our book club meeting yet. I would love to be there for the discussion, but I wonât be able to attend this one because we will be traveling. If I remember, I will edit this to include my book clubâs review. I would rate it 8.5.
I know. I should be tired, right? We sold our house, moved all of our stuff into a storage unit, moved ourselves into our Roam Home, and now we are traveling all over the country pulling said Roam Home.
Whew! Who wouldn’t be tired?
But this kind of tired, apparently, goes beyond the normal temporary moving type of tired. I was tired before we started this whole move and Full-time Airstreaming process. It’s been ongoing since the beginning of this cancer journey. Wiped-out. Exhausted. Fatigued.
I’m the type of person who typically overlooks what my body is saying. I think of others, tasks to be completed, and ignore what my body is saying. I have to ponder really hard about what my body is feeling. Throughout the journey, I have pushed myself to keep going, and I could put being tired out of my head long enough to do what I need to do. So I could function at work, at home, on the road, and continue living each day effectively and enjoyably.
As it turns out, fatigue is an actual diagnosis for about 65% (or more) of cancer patients. It’s not just your every day, run-of-the-mill, normal tiredness. It’s fall asleep at the drop of the hat kind of tired. Narcolepsy kind of tired. Reading a book, my head starts nodding. Driving down the road, I’m drooling. (When Tim is driving, that is đ.) Practicing my foreign languages, I have to put down the phone and just go to sleep. My body aches. It tells me to sleep. If I don’t listen, my body does it for me.
I’m not complaining, mind you. If I need a nap, I just take one. This is part of the reason I retired early (e.g. went on disability) in 2020. I didn’t need the extra stressors, and I needed the ability to rest when my body says to. My full-time job is fighting cancer, so everything else is just doing what I want.
I finally decided to talk to my doctor. He sent me for a fatigue consult.
The first time he sent me was in 2019, a few months after I had Gamma Knife radiation treatment to the brain, if you recall my history. It made sense that I was fatigued at the time, as radiation can affect your whole body. I had to go downtown for that consult (ugh). But, I was still working full-time as a university professor, and fatigue/focus was a real problem. So I complied.
The doctor I saw at the time prescribed Ritalin, and it helped a lot. I had read where Ritalin is used a lot with cancer patients for fatigue. It’s not just for kids with AD/HD. It worked! I had the energy I needed, without going over the top. I was sleeping better, and I could do my job without falling asleep during the day. I could focus. It was very helpful, and I was glad I went.
When it came time to get the prescription refilled, I didn’t go back downtown. Some time had passed and I convinced myself I was doing okay. By the time my medication ran out we were living in Vero Beach Florida (Tim was doing a temporary interim assignment there). Besides, I was going to stop working soon, so I thought that would help and I might not need the medicine.
I retired in January 2020. Then COVID hit.
Fast forward to June, 2024. I’ve been noticing the fatigue again. Not just since the move, but for the past year or more. Tim notices it more than me. He looks over at me during a movie and my eyes are closed. He sees me walking slower. He observes my focus waning. I talk to my oncologist about it, and he sends me for another fatigue consult.
I’m so glad I did it. This oncologist and her mentor specialize in fatigue treatment for cancer patients. They are the only two around who do this specialty. They have done a lot of research in this area, and recognize how challenging fatigue can be for patients. She explained some things about cancer and fatigue that made a lot of sense. For example, she said that when we have a sinus infection we go on an antibiotic for a few days. We may have some side effects, but they are relatively minor. They pass quickly. An infection is like being on the far left side of the spectrum. Cancer is on the far right. They give us more than a simple antibiotic. They hit us with very heavy drugs to attack a very bad disease. Side effects are exponentially greater. Fatigue is one of them. It’s an actual diagnosis, and when there is a diagnosis they provide treatment.
She is also willing to work with me on the refills. I can meet with her via Zoom for many of the follow-ups (as long as I’m in Texas). Pre-COVID, doctors were unwilling to do this. They had to see you in person. If anything good came from it, we can be thankful for the pandemic changing this mindset.
Some things I can do on my own to help with fatigue include exercise and diet, but she can also prescribe medication to help with the fatigue. Since the Ritalin helped me before, she decided to use it again. She gave me enough to take morning and noon daily if I need it, but I mainly take one in the morning and I’m good to go. Rarely, I will also take one at noon to give me some energy for the afternoon. And, of course, we are exercising.
I was very grateful. I can tell such a difference when I take it. I’m more focused, I have energy, and I don’t find myself looking at the inside of my eyelids nearly as often. Even though I’m not working full-time, having a fatigue specialist sure does make living retirement life a bit easier.
I do still take some naps, but it’s usually when I’ve had an extremely busy day. And I use my essential oils (En-R-Gee in particular) when I need an extra boost.
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt picked by one of our book club members was a welcome read after a run of several serious books. It was a delight, and I finished the 368-page novel in no time. The cover is beautiful as well. We were staying on a lake in our Airstream while I was reading most of this book.
I read the authorâs comments in the back, and she noted that her publisher wasnât sure how it would go, since she was writing an octopus as the narrator of the story. Marcellus is a giant Pacific octopus, weighing about 60 pounds. He was rescued by an aquarium in the Pacific northwest, where Tova works as a janitor. He starts each of his chapters with Day #### of my captivity. He longs to be back in the open sea, and I grew fond of him throughout the book.
Both Marcellus and Tova are wonderfully written characters. I donât know why the publisher was concerned, as I found Marcellus to be engaging and very entertaining, which made me want to know more about this amazing creature. If youâve never watched any videos or documentaries about octopuses, I highly recommend you do so. They truly are very amazing. One might think the author was making up his abilities to escape from his tank through such a small hole, unlock treasure chests, memorize names and fingerprints on the tank, and even learn to read. I found it believable after a video popped up in my Facebook feed right before I started reading the book (insert spooky, eerie music). He would escape at night when Tova was cleaning, dig through the trash and eat contraband food that had been left behind.
Tova saved Marcellus the first time she found him out of his tank (he was tangled in some cords underneath a table), and that was the start of a long friendship. Apparently, their suckers put quite a mark on your arm if they attach their tentacles to your skin, but she suffered through it, lied about the marks, and managed to keep his secret so she could connect with him on a deeper level. Tovaâs son had drowned when he was 18, and there was much suspicion that he had committed suicide (although Tova never believed it). Her husband died a couple of years ago as well. She had a lot of grief going on. As Tova and Marcellus become close âfriends,â Marcellus sets on a quest to solve her sonâs mystery for her. He leaves her clues from objects he has found around the aquarium on his many escapades. This is likely his final deed, since octopuses donât live long and he was counting down the days. I was cheering him on, and her as well.
Then there is Cameron. I didnât like him at first, and I wondered why the author would introduce him at all. He didnât seem to âfitâ with the rest of the story. He was a young adult in his early 30s, unable to keep a job or relationship with any stability. When Tova hurt her foot and had to stop working for a period, he helped out at the aquarium. He lived in a camper as he had no money for rent. I assured my book club friends that his camper was nothing like ours. His was old and had a smelly mattress, something he didnât mind but made me think ew, gross. He became integral to the story as Marcellus brought him and Tova together. They both needed someone, and somehow Marcellus managed to make it happen. Learning his true identity at the end of the story was alluded to throughout the book, but it was satisfying to watch it play out. His is a success story, as he proves himself to be a hard worker and loyal to his employer.
I think we can learn a lesson from Cameronâs character. Just because someone appears to not have it all together when we meet them doesnât mean they will be that way forever. They just need someone to believe in them. Someone to give them a hand up, not just a handout. Tim and I are starting a new book together about evangelism using house keys. It is a bit hard in the Airstream, but we will be looking for ways to use our new home and hospitality to connect with people. Perhaps we can do it on the road as well.
I liked the way the author packaged everything up at the end. There were other characters too, of course, and even their stories were wrapped up with a neat little bow. I may not remember all of them or their exact names, but there was Terry the aquarium director; Evan, the Scottish shop owner who was sweet on Tova; the âKnitwits,â Tovaâs knitting group who tried to care for her with endless casseroles; and Cameronâs aunt and mother. The twist for me was at the very end, which I probably shouldnât tell you (spoiler alert!). I thought from the very beginning that the title referred to the octopus. But Marcellus in all of his wisdom looks at Tova and calls her a remarkably bright creature. Sometimes we may forget that we are, indeed, remarkable. We are created to be bright and clever and creative.
My book club loved this book as well. We met on the second Wednesday in June to discuss this one. Hereâs the summary from our leader, Carol.
Eleven of us gathered at Canopy this afternoon to discuss Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt. This is her first novel and we all loved it. It was delightful. I started out the meeting by asking everyone âWhat kind of person do you think Marcellus would be if he was human?â. Some of us thought that heâd be skinny or fat, he would be inquisitive; good listener; Yoda [that was not mine lol]; Sleuthing; bald; nerdy with big dark rimmed glasses; a collector; therapist; a professor especially science teacher but we all thought he was an incredible character in the book. We are in awe of how smart octopuses are!!! We thought the book was well written, the author pulled all the strings together at the end and we were not disappointed at all with the ending. We encouraged everyone to watch the academy award nominee documentary movie called My Octopus Teacher that is on Netflix.
We rated the book 8.6.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
Cheers! Iâm done with everything. Just in time for lunch. Bone scan, chemo and CT of the chest, abdomen and pelvis. They had my CT scheduled for 6:00 AM tomorrow so I was so happy they agreed to do it today. Whew! đ€Ș
UPDATE – My oncologist called, and all my scans are still coming back good. They are watching a lymph node in my abdomen which increased slightly, but they are not concerned. My body remains stable. Stable means there is no progression. But, stage four cancer (metastatic breast cancer) never goes away, so we stick with the program.
PTL . God is so good! I donât deserve it, but Iâm so glad Heâs not finished with me yet.
I am living John 10:10 (living life abundantly) the best I can. I believe God is healing me, keeping the cancer at bay, and giving me strength to continue. Could I choose to quit treatment? Yes. But we don’t know what that would do. No one has ever tested it, and likely never will because who would want the risk? My cells seem to attract hormone and protein driven breast cancer, so the treatments I get with infusions as well as a daily pill protect my cells from the invasion. I’ll never stop treatment unless the doctor says, “you’re cured,” (which doesn’t happen for the reasons I already stated). Instead, I get regular scans to ensure there is no progression, doctor visits to prevent complacency, and treatment to ward off the demons.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
Our book for May was The Last Restaurant in Paris, by Lily Graham. Apparently I didn’t take a picture of this book, which is unusual for me đ„Ž, but you can click on the link above if you want to see the cover. I was intrigued because it was set in Paris, and I have been learning French on Duolingo for about four years now. It was set during the time of the occupation by Germany, in a little town where a woman owned a restaurant.
I was unable to make it to the meeting as we were in Bandera Texas in our Airstream at the time. I did take a picture of that. Several in fact. đđ
Thousand Trails, Medina Lake
Here are my thoughts about the book, which I emailed to the group.
I finished the book, and I really enjoyed the read. Admittedly, I had difficulty getting into it at the very beginning, and when I read later that the author changed the order so she started with Gilbert instead of Sabine I wondered if I would have liked it better had she stuck with her original plan. But once I got into it I had a hard time putting the book down.
I kept hoping Marianne had somehow escaped, and was not executed. However, after reading the why behind the murders it made sense that she turned herself in. She likely felt like she deserved to die after what happened to Henri. I felt her pain when she was not able to vindicate herself by telling Otto Bush why she was killing him, but that also made sense. Again, after reading the authorâs notes it made sense due to the way every day people in her shoes dealt with their actions. She was not trained to kill.
I agree with Pat that the third part seemed like a repeat of part one, although it was from a different perspective. I still felt like there was a lot of repeat, but more was revealed in the third part and there was an understanding that was missing when Gilbert was sharing his story.
I enjoyed reading part 2 the most. I appreciated the story of Elodie and Jacques. Again, there was a lot of sadness in the development of her character, but it set the stage for her purpose behind the murders. It was not a surprise to me that she was a spy. I thought it was odd that no one else in the book thought that, as they all thought she was crazy or something. I wanted to yell at them and say, “There could be another reason!” She was doing this not only to vindicate her husband but also to save her country. Another reminder to be slow to question someoneâs actions, as they may have a lot more going on behind the scenes than we give them credit for.
There was a question about this in the notes – would you be willing/able to sacrifice something personal for the sake of the greater good? I honestly donât know how to answer that. Until I am faced with that decision it would be hard to say yes, but I imagine when one is in that position it gives them pause. I would have difficulty killing anyone, so Iâm not sure I could carry out that kind of mission. I would also have difficulty sacrificing someone I love. I donât think I could do that.
It was a little dark due to the war setting and complicated protagonist, but a great story and well written. I rate it a 9.
The group talked about it in my absence, and here was their summary.
Seven us gathered this afternoon to discuss The Last Restaurant in Paris by Lily Graham. Â All of us enjoyed the book and thought it was well written. Â Of course it is a heartbreaking story and Sabine and Gilbert investigating the past and finding the truth kept us hooked by the book. Â We thought the ending tied everything up neatly in âa little bowâ. Â As you can read below, Cindy and Pat that there was a lot of repeating of part one but several of us liked this and getting a different perspective we felt important to the novel. Â We admired how Elodie/Marianne survived such tragedy, her mother dying in front of her; her terrible father and stepmother; her miscarriages; her Jaques getting killed by Otto Busch and then patiently getting her revenge but at the sacrifice of poor Gilbertâs brother, Henri. Â We all loved her grandmother and the sister at the abbey. Â Sabine and Gilbert finally getting the truth and realizing that, of course, Marianne is not a murderer or traitor as the townspeople accused her of. Â In our discussion, we realized that this novel is based on true events and there really was a Otto Busch, who was a naval officer. Â
I love the cover, as the emotion is so evident in the lives of these children. I envision Rill on the left, who felt totally responsible for taking care of her siblings.
Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate was selected for our April book club. This one was much better than the last one, but it was still a difficult and sad story to read. The story is based on a real place called the Tennessee Children’s Home Society, whose owner Georgia Tann tricked families into giving their children up for adoption (and even stole babies who were born) so she could traffic them and make money. She made a lot of pretenses about helping the children and taking good care of them, and wealthy celebrities supported her endeavors, but the book reveals the truth about the woman and her place through the eyes of some (fictitious) children who lived through it.
The shanty boat families were intriguing. Families who could not afford proper housing lived on a house boat on the Mississippi River. They kept to themselves, to avoid problems with the law. The main family that was followed in this story loved living on the river, and the children didn’t have any inclination that they were disadvantaged. They fished for food, and rowed into town for other necessities. When their mother was in the hospital giving birth to twins, Rill and her four siblings were taken away and placed in the Tennessee Children’s Home Society; their one piece of comfort was dreaming of the day they would go get to go back to the shanty boat and live with their parents. While this family is fictitious, there are pictures of shanty boat families in the book that I would imagine this family to resemble.
The story doesn’t begin there. It’s another novel that goes back and forth in time (we seem to be reading a lot of those lately). In the present day, Avery Stafford is with her Senator father attending a lady’s 100th birthday celebration at the nursing home where her high society grandmother now lives. A new resident at the home named May Crandall comes up to her and grabs her by the arm, and calls her “Fern.” Although a bit startled, she is intrigued. This event leads her down a path to solve a mystery, especially when she follows May to her room and sees a picture of May and her own grandmother on a table in May’s room. The book really takes off toward the second half, as Avery is learning about her grandmother’s hidden past, while learning about her own heritage in the process.
I shared a personal foster story with my book club, based on one of the questions in the book. There were a set of boys at the orphanage, who reminded me of my foster brother Jerry Meyers. He lived with us for two years from the time starting when he was 11, the same age as my brother Shawn. I was 7. If you were friends of my family back in the late 60s early 70s, you may remember Jerry. The boys in the book’s orphanage were incorrigible, as was Jerry, and older boys were rarely adopted. They felt unloved, and therefore acted unloving toward others. Jerry had been tossed back and forth from one foster home to another so he never learned how to love or trust his family. My mother made it her mission to love Jerry with the unconditional love of Jesus, and he had a radical transformation under her care. After two years his father (who had basically disowned him) decided to take him back. Why not, he was much better now. We saw him once more when he turned 18 and sought out my mother, but then we completely lost touch with him after that. I often wonder what happened to Jerry.
Anyway, the book was very good. It touched on a lot of emotions. It was a hard story to read, but an important piece of history. We discussed human trafficking, and how it still happens today. It’s just harder to put a name or face to the perpetrators in our day. Somehow Georgia Tann got away with this for three decades, but she died from cancer before the investigation could result in a conviction. I wonder how many others are getting away with this today because people are desperate to adopt a child, and they put their faith in an entity that they know little about. Definitely food for thought.
On a lighter note, it has been two years since they started the book club at the Canopy, and thus it was time for a celebration. the Canopy provides a variety of support services to cancer survivors (and warriors), all for free. They also sponsor my Spanish class. Click the link if you or a friend want to know more about how to get involved in the Canopy.
Here is our fearless leader’s synopsis of our time together.
Eight of us gathered to celebrate our second anniversary of the Canopy Book Club. Â We all liked the book and thought it was an easy read and some of us would read it again!!!! Especially since the names of the children had changed at the Tennessee Childrenâs Home Society by the terrible Georgia Tann. Â We all couldnât believe that a Memphis woman could cause so much pain, death and child trafficking and people went along with it for decades. Â We discussed how Rill/May and her siblings were so poor on the Arcadia but were so loved by Queenie and Briny and they never forgot it. We discussed how the sisters kept their history to themselves rather than sharing it with their families. Â
One woman shared a family secret that she found out through researching her genealogy but kept it to herself. Â We talked about adoption and another member shared the journey of both her children who have adopted children and how different the birth mother’s stories were. Â This was such a sad and heartbreaking story but we all thought it needed to be told.
We rated the book 8.4.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
Our book for March was Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn. I almost didn’t leave a book review, because it comes with mixed reviews. I recommended it to my book club based on a friend’s very high recommendation. Also, it’s a best seller! I didn’t think we could go wrong.
I understand why my friend liked it. The setting of first century Rome was intriguing, the author did a good job of maintaining historic accuracy including some real historic people, and it follows some strong women throughout the book. I learned a lot about the role of Domitian (the last of the really bad Emperors, and that dude was ba-a-a-a-d) as well as gladiators, the games, and how women matriculated their way through society. I didn’t realize gladiators were like our modern day athletes, and while they were technically slaves, they were revered by the community because of their position in the games. Similar to our celebrities, women would fall at their feet. Tim also filled in some information about this time period in Rome that helped me appreciate the history.
However, my book club hated it. đ„Žđ Some of them didn’t even finish it! đđ I knew they were going to be careful about revealing their honest thoughts as no one wants to hurt the feelings of the person who recommended the book. So, I started the meeting off with, “First of all, I want to apologize. I thought this would be a good book but it wasn’t.” I could see a wave of relief spread across the room, and we were all able to laugh after that đđ. We had previously read another novel by Kate Quinn (The Rose Code), and it was absolutely wonderful! So, we were all disappointed to say the least.
The story follows two women primarily, Thea, a slave girl from Judaea, who was purchased as somewhat of a “pet” for Lepida Pollia, who is a spoiled socialite and daughter of the creator of the games. They attend the games on a regular basis, and Thea has to answer all of Lepida’s whims. One thinks they might mature and become friends, but that is not in the cards. Thea falls in love with a gladiator who becomes the best and most well known. He continues to win because of his obsession with killing. Lepida is jealous, because she wants him for herself, so she sells Thea to a brothel and tears them apart.
There were a lot of graphic descriptions about the games, how (specifically) gladiators would kill, with all the blood and gore, and I think this is primarily what turned off our readers. The crowds would cheer with each death, more loudly when more gruesome, and there did not seem to be any remorse to the killings. I was aware of Christians being thrown out to the lions, which was also discussed in the book. I felt like I had a front row seat to what the early Christians endured, and a glimpse into the suffering Christians experience in other parts of our world even today. While hard to read, I was glad to experience a greater understanding of their hardship.
It was a very depraved society in so many ways. In addition to the blood and gore, women in first century Rome were basically sex objects, so they used their bodies as a means to advance themselves in society. There were descriptions of some of the sexual exploits, orgies, prostitution, and other conniving actions of women, especially those of Lepida. Again, the author was true to historic first century Rome, but it just wasn’t a “feel-good” book.
One member said she finally ran into a character (Lepida) she actually hates. I felt the same way. Lepida was so conniving and had only one mission in mind, to become the Emperor’s mistress. She would stop at nothing to fulfill that mission. I didn’t care for this book overall. I found it hard to pick it up after the first page which finds Thea self-mutilating into a blue bowl, but I did finish it. This just goes to show that not every book is for every person. Authors of all types are needed. Some people love this book–it is a best-seller–while others are put-off by it.
We had some fun discussing the book and laughed about our feelings, but everyone agreed they would not read any more books in this series. This is now the second book I have recommended that my book club didn’t care for. I have decided to buy a book and read it first before I make my recommendation next time. đđ Here are the notes from our book club meeting.
Eight of us gathered this afternoon to discuss Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn. Â We all giggled about this book because we were so disappointed in this Kate Quinn novel especially after reading The Rose Code in January of 2022. Â Lisa couldnât finish it which she always finishes a book. Â We all agreed that it was a struggle to get through and found the book a lot like the movie âGladiatorâ. Â We thought it gory, abusive even though it was during the Gladiator times. Â We did appreciate that some of the characters were real and her research in this book. We rated the book a 4.5.
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
Ă la prochaine…hasta la prĂłxima vez…until next time!
