Chatty Chatty

the metastatic breast cancer journey banner

While waiting in the lobby for my name to be called, a woman sat next to me at an appropriate social distance. I was waiting for chemo, and she was waiting for her labs to be drawn. She appeared to be in her late 60s or possibly 70s, sophisticated dress and very charming. She was chatting everyone up, including the tall man who chose to sit across from us. She assumed he played basketball, then they had a brief dialogue about his high school football career. He seemed relieved when his name was called, and she wondered how he got in before me. 🤷‍♀️ I wondered, too.

Since I was the closest, we had the longest of conversations. I now know her female related medical history, why she is here, who she is seeing, and how long she has been in chemo. We share a disdain for going downtown for scans or treatment, and a common interest in the chairs on which we sat. She also inquired as to how long it took for my hair to grow back. She was wearing a wig, which seemed to fit her personality. It didn’t look like one, but I know how to spot them.

Her cancer is different than mine, but I get it. She is relatively new into the process, so I get it. Cancer is hard no matter how it is diagnosed or what type you have. We can’t bring anyone with us to the center because of the pandemic, so it can get a little lonely at times. Again, I get it. For a social butterfly, which she obviously is, I imagine it gets a lot lonely up here. I am glad I could help her pass a few minutes of her wait time. And, it was entertaining for me as well.

My name was called first. We exchanged pleasantries, and off I went.


I lost count on my treatment number. I think it’s somewhere around the 60 mark. Today’s nurse is very efficient. He just informed me today is number 58, and we had a discussion about whether that includes the original treatment (it doesn’t). He stays active. I should be in and out before lunchtime. Tim drove me down here, as he often does, but he can’t come in the building. We communicate via text messaging while he works from our local café. I’m sure you know which one that is. 😉

Sometimes I nearly forget I have cancer. We have such a good life, and I feel healthy most of the time. I am still able to do the things I love, and spend time with the people I hold dear. (It’s hard to get up and down, and my body has more aches and pains, but that could also be attributed to old age 😂).

When I sit in the lobby, I am reminded. When I get hooked up, another reminder. When someone sits next to me and talks about losing her hair, again I remember. I will always be reminded, but those are momentary when I compare it to eternity. I am a survivor, and I am a thriver. I do not lose heart.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Á la prochaine…until next time.

Another New Adventure

Today was #chemoday. Truthfully I am on biotherapy, but most people don’t understand what that means. So, we call it chemo. It’s maintenance drips of Herceptin and Perjeta, which I get infused in the chemo room at MD Anderson, given by the chemo nurses every three weeks. No major side effects to date, and I’ve had more than 50 of these.

They got me in for treatment and even finished early, so we jumped in the car and took a drive to Dallas to look at an RV — a 2021 Airstream International 30RB Twin to be exact. If you haven’t been following the RV industry lately, it is hopping! It’s nearly impossible to find anything locally, or anywhere for that matter, as people are working from home and staying in the USA due to COVID, meaning they are buying up recreational vehicles.

We are in the process of launching a new ministry, where both of our skill sets will be vital to its success. We love doing ministry together, and we love challenging people to a spirit of adventure. We will be sharing more about this ministry as it unfolds, but the ride up and back included dreaming and planning how an Airstream can help fulfill our ministry goals.

We were “full-timers” about 8 years ago, in the latter half of 2012. We lived in a fifth-wheel with our then 9th grade daughter and our little dog Midge, traveling from location to location where we served the churches in Texas. We learned a lot about the RV lifestyle. This was brought to a screeching halt when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the first time. We sold the fifth wheel in exchange for chemo, surgery, radiation, and more treatment.

We have always dreamed of going back on the road, and God seems to be saying “now.”

No, we aren’t selling our house. No, we aren’t going full-time on the road. But, yes, we will be doing life and ministry together and it has the potential to happen in a silver RV.


A fifth wheel requires a lot more set-up than a travel trailer, is heavier to pull, and in general has more potential for things to go wrong with it. We crossed fifth wheel off the options. Our final debate was between a Class A motorhome or bumper pull. We really wanted the motor coach, but could not justify spending the money. We looked at cheaper travel trailers, but most bumper pulls as well as fifth wheels are made with formaldehyde (we can smell it and it burns my sensitive eyes!).

In the past two years we have done a LOT of research, and the Airstream checks the most boxes in our “must have” list. It has quality parts as well as an iconic history. Without the challenge of navigating slides, we feel this will give us the most flexibility as well as comfort on those longer road trips. Our research shows it has the highest resale of all products on the market as well.

This is definitely a leap of faith, and we are looking forward to seeing what God has in store!


“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Double Vision and Prism

I just got a call from my radiation oncologist. My brain MRI came back clean. No new lesions or growth. I’m on an every 4 month schedule now. Praise the Lord!


On another note, I saw my optometrist who said I have double vision. Maybe I’ve had this a while. In the past I said, “yes” when asked if I was seeing two charts next to each other, but I never told him one was higher than the other. Note to self…point out the obvious, even if they don’t ask. He asked if the charts are side by side. Well, they were, but they weren’t aligned vertically. I pointed this out and then he said, “let’s talk about that.” So, now I have a new prescription for glasses with prism. 🤓

I’ve been out of glasses for a few years now, due to cataract surgery (except I do need readers). I was a bit disappointed with the prospect of wearing glasses 24-7 again, but at least now I won’t have to look for my readers!

That likely explains the occasional dizziness. 😔 I’ve never heard of a prism issue. He said I probably lean my head to the side to compensate, so I maybe never really noticed. This could account for the neck and shoulder pain. I recall a chiropractor telling me I lean my head to one side way back in early 2000s. He said it was a back alignment issue, and adjusted me. Who knows? Like I said, maybe I’ve had this a while. Or maybe it’s new.

The two are likely not related, although brain issues can impact vision. My radiational oncologist is going to send the MRI result to my optometrist and see if he needs anything else. MD Anderson does a whole brain MRI with and without contrast whenever they do it. Next time they do the MRI they would look at the areas closest to my eyes more closely if they think this is a problem. It is not likely a brain issue. It is probably the muscles around my eyes…due to getting old or perhaps due to chemo. It may be totally unrelated to cancer.

Who knows…it’s always a mystery as to how chemo affects the rest of the body.

Á la prochaine…until next time.

Weather: Rain or Shine

A wicked storm passed through our neighborhood last night and woke me up…twice. I vaguely recall Tim mentioning the beautiful light show, but I was too tired to open my eyes and watch. I could see it through my eyelids with each bright flash. I kept hearing it get closer and closer and closer and then BANG!

I was thankful for the rain, and the slightly cooler weather it provided. It has been HOT here in Texas. Over 100 degrees several days in a row. I was supposed to get a walk in, but that didn’t happen either. Tim had a meeting and we still have one car. We have the bikes, but rain is not their friend 😪. Our plan was for him to drop me off at a restaurant for lunch, and I would walk to my appointment from there. We changed our plans since the weather was so unpredictable. I could wait in the clinic just as easily as in the restaurant anyway.

This wasn’t meant to be a weather report. 😂 I’m sitting here at MDAnderson getting the drip. They got me in early. It is true I still have chemo whether it is raining 🌧, sunny 🌞, or otherwise. Every three weeks this thing rolls around. (Has it been 3 weeks already??? 🤔 ) Some people ask me when/if I am finished with chemo. The answer is always the same…I’m a lifer. I am on maintenance chemo until the day I die. That may sound grim, but I plan to be on chemo for a very long time!

A man just rang the bell. It is a tradition here at MD Anderson (and in many other centers as well). It means he is finished with chemo. Yay! I’m happy for him. I am reminded of the time I rang the bell when I finished radiation. It was a remarkable, emotional moment. I was allowed to have family there with me, but this gentleman had to ring it with only staff by his side due to all the COVID restrictions.

Reality is, I will never ring the bell again. And I am okay 👌 with that. I am so happy 😀 that I have treatment that is working. God is watching over my body to keep me stable. The nurses here are like family to me, and this center is like home. I walk in and things may look a little different (e.g. new PPE or longer lines), but there is something comforting about going to a center you understand, routines, and knowing there is always someone there to care for you, and care about you. They take a genuine interest. Nurses know me by name, and ask me personal things, like how is my book coming (yes, they remembered!).

AMEN!!

Just a few more minutes and I’ll be finished, so it’s time to wrap up this blog. I had an extra 15 minutes of drip today as it was time for my bag of Zometa. That’s the medicine that helps my bones 🦴 🦴 stay strong. I get it every three months. Even still, it seemed to go by pretty quickly. Spending time with you, my readers, has helped. Thank you for sharing my journey!

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Big 5-0…

Big 5-0! Chemo, that is. I hit that milestone personally…ahem…a few years ago. 😂 Actually, I received radiation for my 50th birthday…kinda forgot about that until just now.

Today is Perjeta and Herceptin round #50, also known as Pertuzumab and Trastuzumab. These drugs are keeping my body stable, so it’s worth the effort. Hard to believe I’ve been here 50 times since my MBC diagnosis. I should get a cake 🎂 or something. 😂😂. They give me these drugs for the HER2-Positive status. The brown bag is the Herceptin.

I have a room with a view today. I like the exterior rooms because I can see outside, although my back is to the window when I’m sitting here. One of my neighbors was apparently watching Star Wars, as I could hear the beeps and techno sounds of R2D2. 😂🛸🛸 My nurse is very efficient. Luck of the draw. You never know who you’re going to get.

Something’s beeping saying I’m ready for the final bag. Just another half-hour, a few minutes to flush, de-access the port, and then I will be free. Have a wonderful week everyone!

#chemoday

Passing Time at MD Anderson

Another day … another dollar … spent on medical treatment. 🤑My out-of-pocket expenses are typically met within the month of January, then I can just let things happen. It’s about $10,000 per year just for my portion. I don’t bother to keep track of what the insurance company pays. But it is a LOT.

This week alone I had multiple scans on Wednesday (CT of chest, abdomen, and pelvis, and whole body bone scan), blood work, and today I had a mammogram, more blood work, and now I’m waiting for chemo to drip. It is very much like a full-time job managing all of my doctor’s appointments and such. I’m not complaining, especially now that I am “semi-retired.” haha. The doc called yesterday to let me know my bone scan and CT were normal! Yay! My body is still stable. Thank you Jesus. Keep plugging away as it is working!

Annual Mammograms are such fun!

The mammogram was earlier this morning. This is the first time I’ve had one at this center, and the first mammogram in two years. They only do the left one, since the right one is basically belly tissue. Combination lockers conveniently store my valuables. They gave me this freshly pressed, monogrammed robe that has been stored in a warmer. So cozy! I felt like I was in a spa, until the s m a s h i n g began 😂. Ladies, if you have never heard Barbara Johnson’s “How to Prepare for Mammogram,” it’s worth the read.

After that torture chamber I had some time between appointments to eat breakfast, shop, and get some lunch. Oatmeal breakfast was inside Panera Bread, as they are open and allow people to sit at socially distanced tables. That was much better than what I did (am doing) for lunch. After shopping for some fun stuff to keep the grandkids busy (more on that later), I was running out of time to eat out. So, I thought I would pick something up at the clinic. The coffee shop here is less than desirable. Even the nurses talk about how they miss the cafeteria in St. Luke’s. They were out of salads and Diet Coke, so I got a Coke Zero and the last “gourmet” peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Gourmet lunch?

As far as I can tell, the only thing gourmet about the PB&J was the price! They did include granola to the center for a bit of added crunch. I went to the cash register but the clerk was out to lunch, said the technician sitting by the cafe. He asked what I had and offered to pay for it when the clerk came back, since I had to get to chemo. 😃 Aww! That was sweet, but I told him I would pay when I get finished. Who knows whether I’ll have a bill when I get back down there. 🤷‍♀️

Nurse👩‍⚕️just came in and we commiserated about the new patient chairs after I pinched my finger 🤨. They are better than the ones at St. Luke’s, but they have some quirks when you try to lift the footrest. At least I can put up my feet while I’m writing this blog.

Perjeta and Herceptin

Rats! I forgot to apply the Lidocaine cream 😩😩. That’s what numbs the port so when the needle goes in I don’t feel it. Rats. Rats. 🙀🙀 Double Rats! Oh well, too late now. I have to apply it at least 30-90 minutes prior or it doesn’t work. I got so busy shopping I totally forgot. This nurse is pretty good. Nice and quick. She did fine. It only feels like a brief pinch.

Still forced to wear masks every time we come. They give me a new one each time, so I’m starting a whole collection 😂. No one can come in except the patients. I’ll be so glad when this pandemic is over!

On a fun note…

When I’m finished with chemo, we will be picking up Elizabeth and Anthony’s kids (Paige and Gabriel) 🤩🥳 to keep them for the weekend so mom and dad can celebrate their anniversary. They have been married FOUR years. So hard to believe! I went shopping to buy some fun stuff for them to play with. Stuff ALL the grandkids will enjoy 🥰🥰. I’m so excited to have them for two whole sleeps. Hopefully they will sleep and let us sleep as well.

Á la prochaine...until next time!

Scans, Scans, Doctors and Chemo

It’s that time again… I’m sure my readers are a bit weary of the same story over and over and over again. Yet, I also know you like to hear updates on what is happening to me and my body.

On Monday I had another routine MRI of my brain. I have graduated to every four months, since I’ve been cancer-free in the brain for a year. My last scan was in January. I don’t even worry about the results any more. I know I will see my radiation oncologist and she will tell me if there is any cause for concern. We met on Wednesday, and once again my brain looks great! It appears the Gamma Knife has done its job. Now we continue to pray no further lesions will develop in my fastidious and quirky brain. (I just asked my husband to provide an adjective to describe my brain…that brought a laugh or two 😂.)

Scan on Monday, Doctor on Wednesday, and more stuff tomorrow.

The Woodlands campus is yet to bring echocardiogram to the center, so I still have to go downtown for that. They scheduled me first thing in the morning, meaning an early rise without time for a walk. I am told morning is the best time to go. But if you ask me, there is no good time to go downtown Houston 😔.

I am required to get an echo every three months. This is a strict rule or they won’t let me get my treatment. Perjeta and Herceptin can be hard on the heart. This is why we started walking, to strengthen my heart. For those who follow me on FaceBook, you already know our routine is to walk anywhere from 3-10 miles in the morning.

Oy vey… I had treatment scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, but this is the best they could do. I do think they are slipping a bit with the schedule, with all the work from home due to the coronavirus. Typically they have my echo on the books at least a week before it is due.

It should be interesting to see how the downtown campus is handling the pandemic. I typically do not get nervous going to get a scan or treatment, but admittedly I am a bit more cautious these days. At least they provide me a mask each time I go in. That’s one thing to be thankful for.

After the echo, I have to give blood, meet with my doc (virtually) and get his blessing for treatment (which I unfortunately can’t do virtually 😂). After all my medical is complete, we are heading to east Texas where he has a meeting, and we will hopefully see our grandson for his second birthday. (Where as the time gone?)

Looking forward to another busy and long day. Did I mention how happy I am that I am not working?

À la prochaine…until next time…

Drip During the Pandemic


Today is chemo day. I also saw the physical therapist to get measured for a new sleeve. Admittedly, it was a little intimidating going so “far away” from home. Amazing how perspective changes so quickly. Under normal circumstances we could all be diagnosed with agoraphobia! 😳

I put on make-up for the first time in quite a while, and set out for my big adventure. See picture below. 😂

With the pandemic heating up, MD Anderson’s protocols have also changed since my last treatment just three weeks ago. For starters, no one can come with us. Tim drove me here as usual, but he couldn’t come in the building. 😩😩

They still screen you at the door. Even moreso now. I was welcomed by a trio of face shields and protective clothing. Start with a spritz of hand sanitizer and then the screening begins. This time they also screen by taking your temperature…At the door. It’s in the ear so you don’t have to remove your mask.

Last time I was here, they asked if I had traveled to Wuhan, China. Yeah, right. This time…have you traveled outside of Texas? That’s a bit closer to home.

Last time there were only a few people wearing masks. This time…they hand you one if you walk In the door without your face covered. It is now required for all persons in the building. If you have a fever you can’t come in. If you miss one of the questions you can’t come in. Well, that was an assumption on my part. I didn’t have a fever so I really didn’t know what they would do. I asked my nurse when she came back in. She confirmed my suspicions. They are screened the same way as we are. If you don’t meet the criteria they will send you to the parking lot where a large tent now resides. This is one of the many screening locations for the Coronavirus.


In addition to the mask, you have to wear your yellow armband everywhere you go, which shows you have been screened and meet their “safe” criteria.

More changes to the drip. An extra clip, a different attachment… and the pharmacy seems to be behind today. The wait was quite exhausting. An hour here, an hour there… I did tell Tim he could stay home, but he insisted on coming even though he can’t join me. He’s working in the car since all the restaurants are closed.

On the bright side, I got to enjoy a room with a view. 🙂🙂 We’re almost done so I’ll close for now. It’s been a long afternoon!

À la prochaine… until next time…

Last Flight for Chemo

It’s not my last treatment, as I am a lifer, but it is the last time I will need to fly home from Vero Beach for my triweekly infusions. Tomorrow is our last service. Then Monday we will say good-bye to the staff. Or, as one parishioner so aptly put it while quoting Tigger, “It’s not good-bye. It’s TTFN.” I loved living in Vero Beach, and I imagine we will be coming back for visits from time to time. Good memories here.

The flight home was … interesting. It was a full flight with more wheelchairs than the norm, so boarding took some time. The incoming flight was delayed as well, so we had to clear a path for those deplaning. Orlando flights are always filled with children, some of them happy and some in need of a nap, so you never know who will be sitting beside you. I did get the extra legroom thanks to my Premier status, and I always hope for someone small. A child is not so bad, and we typically get along.

I was on the aisle, and in the middle seat next to me was not a child but a large gentleman who would, from time to time, break into a violent cough. He ordered a Bloody Mary for himself and his female companion in the window seat beside him. He downed the first one, ordered another, and fell asleep before drinking it. The full cup sat on his tray, with his hands snuggled beneath the tray, head slumping further and further forward as the flight continued. At one point the cough startled him and woke him up. His reflexive hands sprang upward, stopped short by the tray, and resulted in a Bloody Mary tray. How it stayed upright I have no idea, except for the grace of God, as it only spilled onto the tray and managed to keep the rest inside the glass. I don’t even know what goes into a Bloody Mary, but I was glad it didn’t take flight and make its landing on me as I envisioned the red stains would be difficult to remove. I sat with my hand over my mouth for most of the flight.

Tim, on the other hand, rode the motorcycle home. It took him two days, in the rain and cold weather. On the first day he rode over 700 miles, which he could not have done with me on the back. I wimped out, as he would say, and decided to fly home. The beginning of the trip looked promising, but the thunderstorm he rode through was reminiscent of some scary rides, so while I would have preferred him as a riding companion, I was glad I didn’t have to bear the storms.

Happy Birthday!

Thursday evening we went to dinner with two of our little JEDIs. Alison is turning FIVE on Tuesday, and we will not be home for her birthday, so we celebrated with dinner, a gift and some fun. All we were missing was a cupcake, so she made one with her play-dough and we sang happy birthday with her imaginary candle. What a great kid! I can’t believe our oldest granddaughter will be five years old. Time flies before your eyes.

Treatment yesterday went pretty smoothly. I was originally scheduled for the afternoon, but I had called and rescheduled to the morning so I could come to Dallas with Tim (he led a church Vision conference). And boy am I glad I did! A water main broke in downtown Houston, flooding 610, as you’ve probably heard. This resulted in at least two of MD Anderson campuses closing. They diverted many of their nurses and patients to The Woodlands where I go for treatment. They were starting to trickle in as I was waiting for lab techs. Who knows how long I would have waited if I didn’t reschedule to the morning? Whew! Crisis averted. My nurse was aware of our tight schedule, so she got me out in plenty of time to go with Tim to Dallas where we spent last night. He started the conference in the evening, and he is finishing up as I am writing this blog.

Last night was an interesting experience. We don’t see this very often. I was awakened at 3:38 AM to the sound of people talking. At first I thought it was a television set, and then I realized a couple was arguing in the room next to us, or in the hallway. I wasn’t for sure. He was cursing at her and calling her names for not letting him see his kid. This went on for a while so I called the front desk, who subsequently called the police. It did calm down, but I lost more than hour of sleep. They gave us our money back for the room, with several apologies. I was not the only one who had complained.

I woke up early and came to the airport, after dropping off Tim, saying hello to the church folks, and returning the rental car. I was on a much earlier flight than him to Houston (the same flight to Orlando), but the water main break resulted in my favor. I asked them in the United Club if I could get on Tim’s later flight. Because of the water issue, she moved me to his flight and didn’t charge the change fee. This made it worth my while to use my United Club pass, where I am enjoying free tea, soft drinks and snacks all day, in addition to breakfast and lunch.

It’s been a crazy busy few days, but one thing I know for sure is this…Christ came to this earth that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. We are living life daily and enjoying each step of the way. I don’t want people to see me. I want them to see Christ in me. It is His strength you see, not mine. It is His peace I feel. Without Him I would not feel very peaceful at times. It is His healing that touches my body. He is keeping me alive for a reason. No matter what your circumstance in life, give Him the glory. As we focus on Him we are at peace with all things…family, health, work, and ministry. God has it all in control.

Á la prochaine…until next time!

Test Results – PTL (Again)

Earlier this week I flew into Texas from Florida where we are completing our short-term assignment as Interim Pastors. Since we are out of state, I have been scheduling all of my scans, doctor visits, and treatment all in the same week. I am here from Sunday to Sunday. On Monday I had a bone scan, CT scan of chest, abdomen and pelvis. Tuesday was the Echocardiogram. A couple of days at home and playing with the grandkids was a nice reprieve. Today (Friday) I saw my oncologist and got my treatment. I was in a bed-room. Yes, I had a bed. 😊 Tim joined me this afternoon as we are here to experience the launch of our newest church plant this Sunday.

As stated in a previous blog, I had an MRI of the brain the last time I was in town, which seemed to indicate a new lesion on the left frontal bone of my skull (brain was all clear). Yet, the whole body bone scan completed last Monday showed continued stability, with no new growth. And the CT scans were also normal, with no lesions or new growth. Basically, everything is still stable! For that I am grateful.

As it turns out, the MRI was completed on a new machine in The Woodlands (I have been going downtown for these). The radiologist looked at the pictures again, and he amended the report. Instead of new lesions on the frontal bone, he saw lesions on the parietal bone, which is where they have been all along. It has something to do with the slices, and how they view the pictures. My doctor is on top of it. He admits he isn’t a radiologist, but he looked at the pictures and they didn’t look any different to him. He asked for the radiologist to look again, who then amended the report. Here’s what the addendum says, in case you need some reading material to put you to sleep 😂:

The reported enhancing marrow replacing lesion within the LEFT frontal bone on further review is actually in the LEFT parietal bone and when reviewed on the 3-D T1 post contrast imaging is seen to not have changed in size compared to the October 2019 examination. The apparent increase on spin-echo T1-weighted post contrast imaging is likely due to slice selection. The lesion is is best seen on the current study coronal 3-D T1 post image 91 where it measures 17 x 6 mm. On the 3-D T1 post contrast coronal imaging from the October 2019 examination, the lesion is seen and measures 17 x 6 mm.

This is all good news! Still stable. No new metastasis. No new growth. My blood work looks normal. Echo was fine. Now we have all of my scans in The Woodlands, so they can compare from this point on.

I am in the process of moving most of my other doctors and scans to MD Anderson as well. They now do colonoscopies and endoscopies right there in The Woodlands campus. My last colonoscopy was in 2016, so it’s getting close to time for that. They also have dermatologists, and it is time for my yearly skin check. Looks like this facility is going to become my one-stop shopping for all my preventative care. 😊

Á la prochaine…until next time…