Work, Work, Play

Okay, I admit it. I’m a bit of a geek. Or a nerd. Or more likely a combination of both.  I love to gather knowledge, and practicing my trade feels a bit like playtime.  To demonstrate just how geeky I am, I looked up the difference between the terms.  Slackpropagation has a very interesting chart for the rest of you geeks out there.

I digressed.

Still working full-time, I am helping doctoral students progress a few baby steps forward toward achieving their Ph.D. This weekend’s intensive Dissertation Research Seminar was spent honing topics, research methods, theoretical foundations, sampling plans, ethical considerations, and more. Each time someone received an email saying their topic was endorsed, the entire room burst into applause.

They are forging ahead on dissertations about human trafficking, Special Operations fathers, equine-assisted therapy, transgendered youth, supervision of counselors experiencing vicarious trauma, and so many other very interesting research topics related to our field.  It is encouraging to see people struggle through the process, and come out successful.  Many of these students are first generation graduate learners, so it is quite an achievement.  To know I had a small part in their success gives me pleasure.

Tomorrow’s final session consists of presentations, where thirteen learners will share what they have accomplished so far.  Peers will be their audience, and feedback will be welcome as collaboration strengthens their research.  We will all leave in our airplanes or cars to our respective homes, some in the U.S. and others overseas (one of my students flew in from Germany).  The journey will take them one step closer to achieving their dream.

One day they will write up their findings and submit to a professional journal, or present at a national conference.  Who knows, you may see their names on national television when they have become experts in their field.

Life goes on…are you living it?

À la prochaine (Until next time)…

Brain Mets

Today was a good day. I started off with Physical Therapy doing strength training after Breast Cancer. I have unlimited PT visits with my insurance, so I have been getting help on the lymphadema, scar tissue, and now I feel like I have my own Personal Trainer to help me get stronger. I felt a little queazy at one point of our workout, but my blood pressure was fine so we kept going. I was reminded of my 30s when I was going to a gym, working out, pressing my full body weight with my legs, and lifting 25 pound weights during body pump. Now in my fifties I could hear the Hefty commercial calling me, “wimpy, wimpy, wimpy,” as I looked at the 1 pound weights gripped in my hands…and hard work!  We have a ways to go, but I’m determined to get stronger.

The main reason I’m writing is because I had a visit with my radiation oncologist this afternoon. I love her. She’s a great doctor, and very knowledgeable.  She said the two very tiny spots the MRI found on my brain are only detectable on one set of slices, but not the other two (they have to triangulate to do any treatment). She also reassured that brain mets are very slow growing, unlike the aggressive tumors we’ve seen in other parts of my body.  And since they are so tiny, she is not concerned. Due to the longevity of life in women with breast cancer (her words), they zap them as needed.  It is likely I will have to go in and do this from time to time. The phrase “longevity of life” was music to my ears. I like thinking about living, and enjoying life.

Radiation to zap brain lesions (a/k/a brain mets, a/k/a/ brain metastasis) does not have any side effects. And for now, the tiny spots are not causing any symptoms either. Repeat the MRI in about 6 weeks, then see if we need to do anything else at that point.

She went over the possible treatment options for when/if the time arrives (I immediately turned down the Gamma Knife, which is downtown).  Fortunately, I can be treated in The Woodlands (Yeah!). It only takes three trips to zap them, so it’s not nearly as big of an ordeal as when I got radiation on the surgical scar (I had 33 daily rounds, if you recall). There is also a possibility this is not even brain mets, and the spots may “disappear” by the time I get another scan. So, for that we are praying! I believe in miracles, and I’m thankful I have a doctor who does as well.

On another note, tomorrow I have an appointment with a dental oncologist–I didn’t know there was such a thing–as the bone scan showed some “inflammation” in the right TMJ. For this I do have to go downtown.

Otherwise, all my CT scans looked good.  The liver, which you recall always had spots on every scan, is “unremarkable,” along with the spleen, pancreas, and my lungs also look great.  I still have cancer in the bones, but it isn’t spreading.  Everything is “stable.”

 

The Metastatic Breast Cancer Journey

BCBannerMetsIn December 2016, almost 4 years to the day of my first diagnosis and later being deemed “cancer-free,” I was told I have Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer.  (I was first diagnosed with Stage IIIb in December 2012).  This isn’t my first rodeo, so this time around I have a different perspective. The first time I ignored recommendations for alternative medicines. This time I am targeting the cancer with lots of guns fully loaded.  The first time I was scared speechless.  This time, I just said, “okay,” and started treatment.  The first time I had millions of questions, and my head was spinning constantly.  This time, I still have questions but I don’t worry about the answers.  There is a certain comfort in knowing what to expect. I knew the doctors, the routine, the chemo (although this time it would be a different kind), and I knew how to get to the cancer center.  I knew that having a positive attitude would be the key.  The first time, I believed that God would heal me and my faith was in God’s healing of this earthly body.  This time, I believe God will heal me, but it may not be on this earth.  He can miraculously heal me and remove the cancer from the body, but even if he doesn’t, I will trust him and remain faithful.  I have learned that faith can be a source of strength, and comfort comes from knowing that God is in control…regardless of the outcome.  True faith stands by the Lord even if we do not get our way.  After all, the Lord Himself said “not my will, but Thine be done,” and then He died on the cross.  Sometimes we have to put our own will aside, and let God do His thing.  And it is always a beautiful thing!

It has been a year since my diagnosis, and much has happened in the past twelve months.  Even though we are not at the beginning, I have decided to blog about my journey.  Sometimes it may be very brief, like “I got my chemo today.”  And other times it may be longer. I plan to educate as well as demonstrate faith in action.  Somewhere along the way I will share the events of this first year, but more importantly, I am hopeful this blog will help others who are going through this journey.  It is my gift to family and friends, patients, their caretakers; and as a counselor educator, it will also be for those who will counsel or educate the counselors who will be there for these patients.  My goal is for this to be a lifelong blog, and I am hopeful it will be a very long life.

All things through Christ…

 

Welcome to My Blog!

The Nitty-Gritty Gritty Blog Explained. (Scroll down or click on recent posts to read the most current blogs.)

Merriam Webster defines grit as both a noun and a verb. As a noun, it can be “small loose particles, sand or gravel,” or something similar. I kind of see my cancer that way. My body has a bunch of loose particles, and I have experienced lesions that look a bit like sprinkles of gravel on the CT Scans and MRI pictures. Technically, cancer is a normal cell (or cells) gone rogue rather than a foreign object like grit, and it is much larger and more dangerous than a piece of sand in your shoe. However, I think this concept of grit could fit. (See what I did there?)

When you get a piece of grit in your shoe, it is an annoyance. It is a constant source of irritation. Some people stop the journey because of the discomfort; hikers take off the boot and remove the pebble. They immediately find relief. If left unchecked long enough, it can rub the skin raw, turning into a sore that potentially becomes infected and impacting the rest of the body with fever, chills, and even death. 

We have done what we can to remove the cancerous grit throughout my body. Previous blogs will tell the whole story, if you have time to read it all. While my body is currently stable, and has been for several years, the cancer and treatment are ongoing. Body scans continue to show “hot spots,” but they have not progressed since 2019. It is very likely the spots in my bones are where the cancer was, rather than where it is.

I am a lifer. Although I look healthy, until they discover a cure for stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, I will most likely be in treatment for the rest of my life. (You can read further about my treatment in various blog posts.) Like grit, cancer and treatment continue to annoy due to the frequency, side effects, and ongoing pain where the cancer has impacted various parts of the body. Like grit, I am reminded that what starts small can grow into something more serious if it is not treated (and sometimes continues to grow even when it is treated). Like grit, it is annoying, but I am pulling off the shoe the best way I know how.

The fourth definition of grit (noun) is also why I named my blog the Nitty-Gritty Gritty Blog.  Webster defines grit as “firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger.”  That definitely fits. Regardless of the hardships, I remain steadfast in my journey with God as my support and encourager. I have unyielding courage because his Holy Spirit is holding my hand. My friend Jesus walks beside me and keeps me company during treatments and scans. This blog will take you through a dangerous journey I have encountered, and continue to hike each day. It will do so with the firm and courageous spirit which God has provided. 

Lastly, grit (verb) is also defined, “to cover or spread with grit.” I like that. That’s what I aspire to do, cover you with grit. Spread the grit. Make you gritty as well! In this blog I also hope you catch the courageous spirit as we look at day-to-day life with breast cancer. Breast cancer which was deemed “cured,” but metastasized to other parts of the body. Breast cancer which is deemed by medical journals and doctors as terminal; yet, life goes on! I hope you apply each lesson to your life and realize you too can have firmness of mind and spirit and unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger.

Perhaps you are also experiencing a difficult journey right now. Or maybe you are just a kid and you have a long journey ahead of you. Whatever your stage in life is, please know that God can grant you peace and comfort as you encounter grit in life, and he can cover you with grit to pull through!

This blog is nitty-gritty, because we get down to business. And it’s a gritty blog, because my mind and spirit are firm. I hope reading my story will provide you with a bit more grit as well. 


It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out;

it is the grain of sand in your shoe.

~Anonymous~


P.S. Some people may wonder why I started ending my blogs the way I do. I chose this tagline because I love the French culture. I have many French friends, and I am trying to learn how to speak their beautiful language. I also close with this phrase because I believe we will meet again whether in a blog, on earth, or one day in Heaven.

À la prochaine…until next time.


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A New Journey

This page begins a new journey…the Metastatic Breast Cancer Journey. I was diagnosed Stage IV in December 2016.  Welcome to my new site.

I started blogging when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012. I didn’t really care if anyone read the posts, as writing is therapeutic in itself. However, if it could be helpful to someone else who is newly diagnosed, or if a friend or caregiver wanted to know more about what we go through, I hope you receive a word of encouragement. We are all in this together!

Blogs from my original diagnosis the first time through this cancer journey through the very beginning of this metastatic journey can be found on our other website www.timandcindywest.com. That site also contains some inspirational articles written by my hubby, as well as some adventures.

If you click through the previous posts on this site you will find some additional caregiver stories that could not be included in the published book.

Thank you for following my journey, and for your prayers as well!

À la prochaine…until next time!

Write a Book Review

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Have you read The Breast Cancer Journey?  If so, we would love to hear your feedback on how this book has impacted your journey. Or let us know how you are using this book to minister to others.

Please scroll all the way to the bottom of this page to write your review. (Reply in the comments box below).  I will personally respond to each comment submitted.

Alternatively, and maybe even better, please go onto Amazon.com and write a review. Your support is greatly appreciated!


The book is wonderfully written and the stories are believable.  Many books I have read were more unbelievable and made up to sound too good.  Best book I have read!!!  ~Eleanor Sommer, Survivor

Official Book Launch

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Lucinda West and Pamela Schlembach Primary Authors

It’s official!  With this book launch we hope to see sales skyrocket so funds can be given to further the cause of research and finding a cure.  If you haven’t picked up a copy, please do so today!

Lucinda (Cindy) shares what this project means to her.
Lucinda (Cindy) shares what this project means to her..

Wednesday May 11th ladies from the Breast Friends support group at MD Anderson who have contributed to this project gathered together with their friends and family members to talk about how writing their story has impacted their lives.

The massive book signing event was reminiscent of Yearbook Parties from our high school days.  Tears flowed and laughter filled the room as we shared stories and encouraged the newbies who joined our group for the first time.

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Thanks to the MDA ladies who help lead this group every month!
The MDA ladies who help lead this group every month!

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I Just Want to Help

I Just Want to Help

Michael Weaver

My Story

When my wife was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I felt helpless because I could not actually fight the cancer for her. I knew it was difficult for her because she is a clinical social worker, so she is aware of what women with breast cancer may go through, having helped many women in this situation herself. As a doctor it was difficult for me too, because I am used to helping people with different illnesses. This was not my specialty, and now there was even less that I could do for her medically. However, I made a choice early on after her diagnosis that I would be a husband for her, and not her doctor. Continue reading “I Just Want to Help”

I Quit

I Quit

I. M. Poppy

“‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” ~Jeremiah 33:3 (AKJV)

 

My Story

One evening near the end of my wife Vicki’s 5-year brave battle with cancer, she was having an extreme anxiety attack.  She didn’t appear to have any acute pain but was desperate.  She cried, she moaned, she rocked, and she shook her bed and pleaded with God “take me home.”  Two of my daughters and their significant others sat with me in our bedroom. We tried our best to console her. We all hugged and cried and prayed together.  It was a horrible experience. Finally, with the help of medications, she settled and slept.  We too settled and the girls went home. Continue reading “I Quit”

The Caregiver’s Labor of Love

The Caregiver’s Labor of Love

Don Harkey

My Story

The life of a caregiver can be described as both the best of times and the worst of times. When my wife Kathy was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I think my first reaction was one of total selfishness. “How was this cancer going to affect me?” “What would this do to our happy little life?” “Would we still be able to go out to dinner, go to the lake, or go on vacations?” “How would I work?” “Why has God chosen to put this burden on me?”   The pity party had begun. Later, I felt guilty about my initial reaction. To some extent, I think Kathy had the same reaction. Her concern was, of course, on a much deeper more visceral level.   Let’s face it—when your life is on the line, some of the day-to-day worries take on a vastly increased significance. Continue reading “The Caregiver’s Labor of Love”