Mad Hatter Hotel Hopping

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Downsizing has evolved into homelessness. At this writing we are hopping from hotel to hotel until we land on a decision for the next chapter in our lives. Some days we feel like the Mad Hatter is speaking directly to us to run down the rabbit hole!

A brief history reminds us; we bought our house at a great deal, as an investment for retirement. It was way too big for the two of us, but the price we paid could not be passed up. We certainly enjoyed living there. Many family nights were spent playing pool in the game room, watching a movie in the media room, or sitting in the dining room playing games. Several Christmas photos were taken in front of the gas fireplace. The grandkids loved climbing the stairs, and Yoda got annoyed finding ways to stop them from doing so. Friends and family members have enjoyed our guest rooms. Many beautiful spring days were spent working on the back porch, as I watched my bluebirds raising their families from one season to the next. When we bought this house on the cul de sac, we thought we would be there until we retired. Our plan was to sell and downsize at retirement, as the profit would surely pay for a smaller home by that time.

Two months after the home purchase, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer. Our retirement plan was turned upside down.

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” We continued to seek God’s will for our future.

Retirement comes for most folks in their mid-60s, or even 70s. Terminal cancer has a way of changing perspective. Will I live long enough to retire? Will I feel good enough when I retire to travel and enjoy the retirement life? I hope so! I believe so! But there are no guarantees when you have a terminal illness. I am now half-way through the “average” 5-year lifespan for patients with MBC. Perhaps I will live to my 70s, and God does give me hope that I will! God is not a god of statistics. Even still, we are examining options for my early retirement to make this journey a bit easier to manage. As I said in my last blog, we are not merely existing; we choose to live.

As soon as we heard my body was stable, we put our house on the market.

It took a while to get an offer on our big, beautiful home, but when we finally did it happened very quickly. Mid-March we received a cash offer. The buyers wanted to close in three weeks as they were between homes and living with her aging parents. We had planned a trip to Scotland the following week…yikes! But when a buyer comes knocking, you don’t say no.  We immediately started packing the house, and then packed for our trip. It relaxing and enjoyable in the midst of this tumultuous time, but we came home and hit the ground running. Two days after we returned from our trip, the house closed. It was April 4th. We bought back a few days for $1.00, as part of the negotiations…just enough time to finish packing and move out, with the help of several friends.

It’s almost June, and we are still living in hotels and a couple of storage units. Fortunately Tim gets good deals and we travel a lot for his work, so this is not a totally new experience. We have been weighing all the options, but the final decision was based on a call from God. He said he has a plan for us. It’s a mobile plan. We will be living a nomadic lifestyle for a while, as we do ministry from the road. After much debate and indecisiveness, we finally bought a truck. Not just any truck, but a Super Duty Ford F-350 Dually, with 4.10 axle ratio. We also have a Heartland Cyclone 4007 (Fifth Wheel) on order, and if all goes well we will pick it up on July 5th. Between now and then…more travel.

À la prochaine…until next time.

“You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret all the best people are.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Gamma Knife Update and a Bit Nostalgic

I realized I had not updated my blog since the Gamma Knife treatment. That first week was interesting. I was swollen across my face and looked like I had been in a brawl. My eyelids were screaming at me. I hibernated to avoid terrifying the neighbors. The swelling went away about a week later.  I’m still sleeping on two pillows because I feel a little pressure around the pin sites when my head is not elevated. I’m also waiting to go back downtown for the follow-up MRI to see if it worked. I think it worked. In the meantime, I have noticed some improvements. All last year I was feeling increasingly dizzy. I would hunt for the wall to support me when I first woke up, the world spinning around me. Now…no more dizziness! I had one day when I felt a little dizzy for a few minutes, but I can sense a significant difference. Maybe it’s all in my head (pun intended LOL), but I think the Gamma Knife made the difference. I thank the Lord daily for the treatment options available to me, keeping my body stable and going.

Today is chemo day. I came yesterday to get my monthly shot of Xgeva, and today I’m here for my infusion of Herceptin and Perjeta. My yesterday nurse asked why I didn’t move the shot to today and save a trip.  Duh! Why didn’t I think of that? That would have been a good move. But, it’s okay. I don’t mind. It gave me a reason to get out of the house on a cold, wintery day.

The nurses here are so kind and helpful. They did use my bloodwork from yesterday so I didn’t have to get poked again today. At least, that’s what I reasoned until a few minutes before my appointment when I realized I had not put the numbing cream on my port. Yeah, I do have to get poked, just not in the arm. Yet another silly blonde moment.  The cream really helps, and apparently I didn’t have it on long enough today–ouch–lesson learned….

Every time I come for chemo, I get a different nurse. I was reminded today that I have a one in twelve chance of getting the same one. I’m pretty sure I have run through all twelve of them by now, as we know each other by name.  It’s ironic because when I first started treatment in 2013, I had the same nurse several times in a row. Sometimes the lottery works out that way. I thought she was my own personal nurse until I got someone else. “Where’s Cathy?” I asked. That’s when I learned how the system actually works. I’ve had Cathy several times since then, but not today.

It is encouraging when I have an opportunity to converse with the nurses about life. Many of them are about my age, and we have similar life circumstances.  Today, my nurse and I collaborated on the joys of “raising” our young adult “children.” Feeling a bit nostalgic I don’t think we will ever quit worrying about our kids, regardless of chronology.  Now that they have families of their own, we have even more people to worry about. If you have little ones, enjoy the vexing while they are young. It is only temporary. Play with them. Love them. Teach them manners. Let them mess up the house, and then show them how to clean it up. Read to them. Bathe them. Laugh and cry with them. Say no to them, and say it firmly. Hug them and take good care of them. Discipline them. Don’t spoil them, but give them what they need. Don’t let the devil delude you into believing things will get better when…they are out of diapers…they go to school…they grow up…they move out…they have a family of their own…when…when…when. Don’t wait for life to pass you by while you wait for it to get easier. Life only gets more complicated with each passing moment. The future is inevitable and it will be here in the blink of an eye. Embrace whatever present is standing in front of you. It’s called the present because it is a gift. Unwrap it and live life today to abundance and overflowing with joy.

Jesus said, “A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so they may have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way.” ~John 10:10 (NIRV)

Á la prochaine…until next time…